Monday, April 23, 2012

The Keep Away from Me Issue

There is one thing that follows you around the world, into every major city no matter where you are. Big Issue Sellers.
I think the idea behind the Big Issue is a good one - to give destitute people a real job, the problem being that The Big Issue is about as cool as Veganism, Hummus, and Hemp Clothing.

There is a Big Issue seller I walk past everyday - she has been 9 months pregnant the whole time. Someone once told me she put a gypsy curse on a guy who wouldn't give a packet of diapers for her unborn baby. And that in a nutshell is why I never buy The Big Issue. I don't want no gypsy curse coming back to haunt me.

The other being that the magazine itself is not what I want to read on a weekly basis. I know homelessness and drug addiction is a terrible disease and afflicts millions of people around the country - but I don't want to have to read about it all the time. If you think about all the problems in the world it's hard to get out of bed sometimes. 

That's why I think they need to remove some of the stink from The Big Issue. Why not have them sell a special charity issue of Vogue once year? Vogue has the September Issue - the biggest issue of the year as it highlights the coming fashions for the upcoming seasons. Unfortunately homelessness is a a year round statement. Homelessness is always at the new Black.

I would buy that issue of Vogue being sold by the gypsy cursing Big Issue sellers. I'd pay a premium for the opportunity to do it - to know that a mecca of the publishing world cared enough to put an an important issue at the forefront of business, besides the tan regulations of models and weather cerulean blue or turquoise blue was going to be big on the runway this year.

Maybe we could even give the sellers some new clothes in which to sell them in too? My gypsy curse pregnant lady would look smashing in a new Stella McCartney poncho. 
Perhaps then we'd all slowly begin to realise how much a difference the Big Issue is to these people and we would start buying these magazines. That they aren't so different from us even if they are a smelly deterrent, because as much as I would love to make a difference in the world, i mostly  like to go through life with giant blinders on to shield myself from the small changes I could make to be a better person.


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