Tuesday, November 22, 2011

another thing that happened at the party

So picture this, a party full of only ridiculously good looking people, there must have been a bouncer standing outside on the stairs getting rid of all the ugly people (not that I would have seen them) and I end up in the backyard standing next to the hottest Calvin Klein model I have ever seen.

Now... no one probably knows that but I embarked upon some much trying vegetarianism for about 6 months... I say trying because as soon as I stepped off the plane in New York I was shoving smokey bbq ribs down my face like the world was going to end... but I figured it was New York, so it's perfectly acceptable to break the rule.

I tried hard, I mean I really tried. Mushrooms and Spinach for dinner 5 nights a week, but then it started to get colder, and I realised then that Vegetarianism is only something I could realistically do during summer. And that is because I have 3 amazing fur coats, and I'm not about stop wearing them because of my new-found animal rights ethics.

Those animals died ages ago. Would a rabbit rather die and live forever on my body? or be mauled to death in the woods by a hungry fox?? I'd take the coat hanger option any day. The animal kingdom is a cut throat place. I should know. I've been watching Frozen Planet. David Attenborough paints a grizzly picture. Why should I suffer in the cold?? a vegetarian jacket made out of hemp and linseed isn't going to keep anyone warm during the London winter. So I wore my amazing new furcoat to the party, and ended up next to the Calvin Klein model. The Vegetarian Calvin Klein Model.

Now I should also mention that this was the night I decided to fuck my vegetarianism right off. There was a BBQ and they were cooking a pig and steak, and I was pretty much just stuffing pork and steak dripping with blood straight down my face with my bare hands.

At that moment I was the poster girl for everything wrong with the world... according to vegetarians.

Needless to say - the Calvin Klein Model didn't stick around. Whatevs. At least I don't need to have B12 injections.

Plus my furcoat cost £30, and you couldn't even buy 30 live rabbits for that these days. If anything I am economically thrifty, and isn't that more important that being a murderer in this day and age of the double dip recession?? yes.

No comments: