Saturday, October 15, 2011

Marriage = Breaking Stuff

This to me is being married in a nutshell... (married to me)

You go upstairs to find your husband complaining about the broken blinds in the bedroom. And because he is standing there like an idiot, complaining about broken blinds, you do the only thing you can do to help the situation....

You break the blinds a bit more.

I call it "helping".. as in; "at least I'm not standing around like an idiot doing nothing about the situation".. sure I probably made the situation ten times worse than what it was 5 seconds ago, but at least now we are working as a team to correct the problem that I caused.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Do you remember me ever doing a short course in 'Blind Repairwork'?? because I'm just pulling on strings and fucking things up on my own over here.

And that's what marriage is - going to bed angry, sure in your own version of events that it was the other person who completely broke the blinds in the first place.

My Version: I walked up the stairs and you were standing there with a broken blind in your hand, therefore YOU broke the blinds, any extra breaking I did after that is superfluous to the fact that you had already broken them by the time I got there.

Not My Version: the blinds were a tiny bit broken till you got your hands on them, and now they are completely fucked, and we have to sleep with a towel over our sunlight to act as a curtain so the people in the building next to us don't watch us and touch themselves inappropriately whilst we sleep.

I find being angry helps me sleep better anyway.