To some - listening to Mark & I have normal conversation may sound like we are constantly fighting/on the verge of divorce. I say to those naysayers that we are speaking the language of love. We have our own way of saying things - it's like a secret bitchy code that only the two of us understand. For Instance:
Mark is growing a beard, which I don't like, so I call him "Homeless Jesus" - which is a far nicer thing to say to someone than "I hate your fugly beard - please shave that shit off before you touch me"
It also took us about 45 minutes to get dressed this morning as we were trying to get dressed for the day, but also pack clothes for a party that night. Which is hindered when either of us gives feedback on the other person's outfit choices
"You look like you are selling stationary.. ooh shall I tell you all about our deals on pens and printers??"
"You look like you're wearing your dad's wedding jacket"
"You look like a hooker in those tights"
"If you wear that outfit I won't talk to you at the party. I will pretend my wife couldn't make it"
All of which to the untrained ear - is just the two of us saying "wear whatever you like - you look fabulous"