Thursday, August 11, 2011

I truly believe these things..

You know what is the most insulting thing you can say to a person... "you watch too many movies".. wellllll I have to disagree with you on that. I can't watch enough movies.. and furthermore how do you think I learnt half the things I know today. This is where my streetsmarts come from.

ie: only and IDIOT would stand around in a puddle in an abandoned carpark.. Don't you know what could happen to you?! well I know. Because I've seen Poltergeist 3 about 20 million times. Suffer to those who haven't seen it and end up floating heads lost in an alternate dimension. There is no coming back from that. Unless crawling out of an old lady's face appeals to you.
not so much?

I also believe that there is a place somewhere that lunchpails grow on trees.


Which is why I have a lot of reservations about getting a cab to my friends house in New York next month. I don't want to end up chained to a heating duct underneath the New York Sewer system. I've seen The Bone Collector. I know what happens. You get in the cab, then you try to open the door and the razor blade slices your finger off and then someone finds your bloody finger in a refuse dump under the Brooklyn Bridge. I don't want that. That would ruin the trip completely if that happened.

I suppose I could swim to the island - because that worked out well for Darryl Hannah in Splash. Show up naked then a nice non-murdering cop drives you home. Easy.

I just have to hope that the apartment I am staying at isn't the top floor of a Georgian Mansion Apartment Block. And that whilst I am sleeping in the kitchen/loungeroom with my feet in the cutlery drawer, that Gozer doesn't come out to get me. To be honest the best way to test if Gozer is going to come out and possess you Ghostbusters style is to bring a packet of eggs into your kitchen, and if they jump out of the packet and start frying themselves on the bench then you know you got problems. I'm not saying that I don't want to end up all tarted up possessed out of my head on the roof of a building.. but I have other things to do too you know.

Pictured: Me - just your typical thursday night.

I also plan on doing some erotic pottery, eating some magical flying candy canes, making friends with a homeless lady in central park - whilst foiling the plans of two bumbling thieves, and taking some mind altering drugs and doing ass to ass.

Good times to be had! If I can get myself out of the airport.

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