Thursday, August 11, 2011

i pee on floors

I have a pretty weird toilet at my work. strange things appear in it. does anyone remember the story of the mystery poo? today we had a mystery puddle at work, and if you have learnt anything about my work, is that when something mysterious happens in our toilet everybody comes to look and put forth their ideas from whence the weirdness came from.

Today I was the pioneer who discovered the puddle of mystery. I was sitting there having a pee, congratulating myself on the all the sneaky farts I'd been doing at my desk all day, then when I stood up I noticed my feet were in a puddle of water.

Strange.

I don't remember coming in here and sitting down into a puddle of water.

So I did the first thing anyone else would do in my situation.. I told everyone there was a mystery puddle in the toilet. Everyone came to look.. where did it come from?? was someone having a water party in there? are there ghosts in the pipes??

Then they figured out that someone must have peed on the floor. But I was the last one in there.. sooooo by the theory of your hypothesis, it was me who peed on the floor.

To be honest, I would think I would remember peeing on the floor. I have been using a toilet for 30 years now, I should have the hang of it by now. I only have one recourse in my defense. The stupid wooden toilet seat. It's like its from the 1800's, no wonder my pee is ending up on the floor and not in the pipe. Either that or my urethra is broke and points out straight ahead like a fire hydrant hose pipe.

So glad I made everybody come and look.

I am not the type of person who needs a nemesis who goes around telling people embarrassing stories about myself. I am fairly capable of taking on the role of the inner villain as my stupidity has just now proved itself.

1 comment:

The Chantal said...

LOL I've done that before when using public toilets coz of the hovering, sometimes its going on the floor and you dont realise.

My worst was one time visiting the cinema with my friend, all my pee landed up going onto the floor making a big puddle, andddddd onto my jean leg :/ So I walked out the stall and said to my friend "Some asshole peed all over the floor" we then went into the cinema and I excused myself and rushed back to the bathroom to try and dry my piss-jeans under the hand dryer.