Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Holiday Sans Brain

It's no secret, that in any and all relationships - women are right and men are wrong. This is the eternal argument between man and wife, bf and gf, dog and cat. These arguments are put in the spotlight especially when on Holidays.

ie: On the weekend in Amsterdam we were way too high to order anything at the bar we were at so we argued over who was more capable of ordering a red wine off the menu, and the music was really loud and making us anxious, so we left and wandered around 20 canals trying to find our way home again.

Problem could have been easily solved if Mark had ordered the wine. Therefore - the argument is all his fault.

This is why I am interested as to what will happen when I venture off on my own to New York next month to catch up with my Sister-from-another-Mister, and Big Daddy. I have already mentioned the anxiety I foresee of getting home from the airport, and that is because the airport is always where the first arguments of the holiday begins. Traveling is just a euphemism for "arguing around the world"

Who chose this stupid immigration line to stand in? the other one is going much faster.
Can't you tell what your bag looks like compared to all the other matching black bags. what are you blind?
Why is your bag so heavy? Did you purposely bring the bag with the broken wheels to annoy me?
Why do you have to pee so many times when we are in the airport?
Don't say anything stupid to the immigration detective, this is not the time for jokes. Mark.

Traveling withe me is awesome!!!!!

But they are only play arguments - nothing compared to what goes down when we get out of the airport and have to figure out how to get to our place of residence. I mean - that is a hard feat - specially when you are in a country where all the signs are in another language. There are no universal signs that say "if you would like to get to the city centre - please catch the only bus that goes from this specific bus stop and will cost €3 in local currency that can be purchased on board and comes every half an hour". No signs like that exist. Once we were stuck in Pisa airport for about 2 hours whilst we tried to figure out how the public transport situation worked. But in the end - Mark tried his Italian Charms on a garbage man and I looked defenseless guarding our bags and we group mimed our way through the exchange of important information.

But the point is that two idiot brains are better than one. When I'm alone in the world, I only have my brain - and my brain is equally as inferior as Mark's brain. What chance do I have getting anything accomplished?

I remember the first time we went to New York and we found the taxi stand that made no sense, and there were no buses that made sense, and then some jive talking gangstas tried to talk us into getting into their Humvee and drive us into Manhattan..... now this is the problem right here.. if on my own I just might get talked into getting into a Humvee with a bunch of trendy strangers playing excellent rap music "it's so authentic!".. and then I end up in a crack den trying to pay off my taxi debt dancing all over Big Al's downtown stripper pole.

Which is why I have decided to book a Limousine Service - hey with the economic crisis happening over there by the time the Limo Driver picks me up and drives me to the Upper East Side - they will end up owing ME money. suckers. Thank You Republicans!

No comments: