Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Fully Sic Days

Taking a sick day is lose-lose situation. For one - you are sick, and when you are back at work everyone wants to know exactly how sick you were - to gauge whether or not you qualify for a sick day..When you have a sick day it's all of a sudden everyone's business.

Yesterday I took a sick day, as I could feel the flu coming on, and rather than being a disgusting mucus mess at my desk all day and infecting everyone else (gallant!)- I figured I would take some Night Nurse and sleep the day away, moving from the bed to the couch and continuing my horizontal war against germs. My plan worked and I am considerably less phlegmy today - score.

Today I am at work and everyone is giving me the total side eye... "so what was wrong with you yesterday??" "you look...... well!".. you know why I look well! Cos I took a fucking sick day. No one says "hey thanks for not coming in and giving us your germs!" I can't stand it when someone comes in sick - namely because I know I'm bound to catch what they have, and have to walk around disinfecting everything I touch.

In terms of the sick day pay-off it's really not worth it. I have NEVER taken a sick day and then gone off and had a picnic in the park, rented a convertible sports car and gone on a roller-coaster. Why then do people immediately think you are skiving having the best time of your life on a sick day?

Yesterday I moved downstairs to the couch, Lenny got into my armpit nook whilst I watched a documentary on the worlds fattest lady who had to have a wall knocked down from her flat and craned into the ambulance. That lady's whole life is one never ending sick day. Then I napped intermittently all day before getting up and hunting for food in the empty cupboards - I found two plums and some milo. And people think I am skiving off work for this!!! Puh-lease, If I was skiving off work I would come up with something better than lounging in my own stench. That is what weekends are for.

Last year I had 2 sick days - one of those was when I had third degree sunburn all over my body from that time we went to a beach in Spain and I thought "they have an ozone layer! I don't need your stupid suncream!" When I got to work everyone wanted to see my sunburn, to prove that my sunburn was reason enough to take a sick day. My sunburn was luckily bad enough to impress everyone - and I peeled my skin off and left it on someones phone for questioning my sunburn pain.

One time I was working with this psychotic crazy lady - whom would tell everyone exactly what was wrong with me if I took a sick day. I had to take a sick day one time because my face had an allergic reaction to my face cream and swelled up like a melon. The next day when I got back to work everyone who I spoke to on the phone was like "how is your rash??" Um FINE! How is your rash!

So not worth it.

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