Monday, August 29, 2011

Drug Addict Magnet

Whenever I go to see a band they never play my favourite song. Yeah they play all their 'best' songs, but never my faaavourite song. What's the go with that?? Go see Lykke Li - she doesn't play 'Complaint Department' (which is the best song on the album in my opinion) I go and see Weezer and they don't play one song off Hurley?! Memories! Hello. And on Saturday I went to the South West Four Festival purely to see Underworld, and they don't play Bird 1. wtf world. wtf!!?!

Seeing Underworld in London was a definite must-see event since moving here. I can not describe my love for Underworld in mere words. I think they write the best music which can not be described by a mere genre heading. Karl Hyde is the most poetic song writer, his lyrics are amazing. His songs make me cry with happiness.. well Bird 1 does.

SW4 was sold out, and was henceforth known as Underworld Day.. it felt wrong to have to correct people who thought that Underworld Day meant seeing a gay vampire vs werewolves movie. If that's what Underworld means to you - I can't help you.

I love festivals. Seeing a band play outside to a crowd of 20,000 people and being a part of that is so amazing. And it was amazing. To be surrounded by 19,998 people who were completely fucked out of their brains on drugs.

When we arrived at SW4 the whole place was a mud-bath mess from the rain the previous day, having experience in this field, I tackled my way through the mud sticking to the edge, should some knob think it hilarious to tackle me into the mud and ruin the whole day (it's happened to me before) What I found amusing were the people who were wearing thongs.. ideally at a festival where the ground is all mud you would wear Wellies, or sneakers you can throw out, but not thongs. I saw many rookie mistakes.. those thongs got stuck in the mud, and those people had to go barefoot and I can't describe how disgusting that must have been. Just think of all the foot diseases you would have afterwards. Tinea. Toe Herpes. Standing on a badly cooked Burrito Foot Poisoning. Yuck. I scouted out the least muddy area next to a fence close to the stage and that is where we stood for 5 hours waiting for Underworld.

Many Many things happened during this 5 hour period.

First of all the main drug dealer of the festival was also standing in front of the fence in the dry part - so all day we saw people coming up and buying bags of crystal MDMA. For a festival that had a 'no drug policy' they sure didn't mind the blatant drug use happening at every square foot of the place. Everyone around us had their fingers dipping into their little plastic bags of MDMA...

It started to rain, and because I always come prepared I had an umbrella. Just like that Kelis song - my Umbrella brings all the druggies to the yard. I would put the umbrella up then suddenly about 5 guys off their faces would be squished up against me. I was like the Mother Hen in that field. If anything, the MDMA usage did make for a very friendly and talkative crowd.

Then Pete Tong was on, and it was about 45 minutes before underworld were about to start and something happened to the crowd. Old Mister Drug Dealer at the Fence had sold what I could only assume to be Very Very Bad Drugs. A group of people we saw buying drugs off this guy appeared, and they were a very different group from the one we had seen walking through the crowd earlier. This group of people couldn't even stand up. Their eyes were rolling into the backs of their heads, there was a guy who was about 30 and he was standing their shivering bathed in sweat, unable to move and clinging to the fence to keep from falling off the planet. Horrible. Then they all started partner sharing and having a giant love in?? I could think of nothing worse than pashing someone who had just pashed a guy who had just thrown up. Wrong!

I think Mark and I being the only two people in that festival who weren't on drugs gave us some sort of safety beacon. Because people who were about to die kept coming near us and sitting down, or laying against us, I was fully prepared to use my first aid training to stop a person from overdosing.

Yes I have taken drugs at festivals, so i'm not going to be a hypocrite who says "dont take drugs at festivals" but maybe don't take soooo many drugs?! When Underworld finally came on stage I don't think anyone even realised. When I love a band like I love Underworld, I don't need no stinkin drugs. They are my drug.

They were amazing. Flawless. King of Snake. Cock Thrusting Lasers. Karl Hyde is the coolest Motherf*cker in the World. And they played this song.. Favourite Number 2.

Better than Pete 'i mix it up on the iPad2" Tong.

1 comment:

Fen said...

I fkn ADORE Underworld, the first time I saw them was almost a religious experience for me. I still remember it like it was just last week. Totally brilliant.