Thursday, June 02, 2011

the Killer Cucumbers

Do you like salad?
Are you eating a salad right now?
Well put that shit DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you know we are involved in a war? It's Humans vs Cucumbers. And the Cucumbers are winning. Not since the great Potato Famine of Ireland has the war of Humans vs Vegetables waged in favour of the Veg.

The Spanish Cucumbers are out to get you.

The Revolution is at hand. They are sick and tired of the fame hungry Tomatoes stealing all the limelight and they're not taking any prisoners.

To be honest - this isn't going to be funny just yet - because the Spanish Killer Cucumbers are still on the loose "too soon, too soon"... but maybe in about 6 months time.

I can't remember the last time I saw a BREAKING NEWS story about Cucumbers, and on BBC today that is all there is.. Stinks that it takes a Cucumber Killing Spree to get them some screentime, it's Cucumberist is what it is. They only want to run the bad stories about Cucumbers.. what about all the good things that Cucumbers do for us?? making potato salads better, and little tiny cucumber afternoon tea triangle sandwhiches.. You never see that on the news do you??

I feel bad that most likely the Cucumber Community will never recover from this, all it takes is a few bad Cucumbers to ruin it for everyone. I'm not lying when I say there is a cucumber in my fridge right now, and I am almost 90% certain, that when I get home my jewellery will be missing and my cat is going to be lying in a beaten pile of fur.... What do you do though??

We put all the Cucumbers in Cucumber Jail is what we do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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