Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Steggles!

One great thing about being an Australian in London is keeping all kinds of crazy myths alive about life back home, ie - spiders, riding kangaroos to school, living in mudhuts, basically perpetuating the myth that we are an under evolved species who are one generation away from cave-folk... "yehah! we don't have innernetwatsits.. we just chuck that dang boomerang and sees what the reply is when it comes back, hyuck!"

Basically lying about everything back home is my favourite past time. Down there we have two moons! And in the winter all the sheep lie down on their backs and all their wools falls off and that's how we make the warm socks!

So anyway, I was at this party with some typical Londoners enthralling them with stories of home. This is where I made up the Steggles Story.
Did you know...

Back in the 80's there was this huge scandal in Australia relating to Steggles Chickens, they were putting way too many hormones in them, so that a whole generation of working class families were raising children who were eating too much Steggles chicken and growing huge breasts - and specifically Man Boobs on boys.

The result being that the slur "Steggles!!!!!!!" could be heard ringing through the playground whenever a child would run past with a bounce in their front section.

There was no greater insult than to call someone Steggles back then, because it implied your family couldn't afford genetically non-modified chicken, and that you had Moobs and that's just weird. No one wants to be friends with the 10 year old with Moobs. Plus no girl wants to be known as being overly sexually developed at a young age due to Chicken Steroids, so the slur worked for both sexes.

This story had everything - facts of Australian life, chicken hormones, and a new racial slur to the ever open ears of the British youth.

I thought it was funny anyway.

Then today the guy I told the story to tells me how his friend from Australia visited him recently and when they met up he shouted across the street "Steggles!!!!!!!!" and his friend was clearly confused "why are you calling me Steggles??" "you know! the chicken hormones! the playground. man boobs! Steggles!!!"

Whilst he had clearly heard of Steggles the new terminology and imagery it invoked was something new all together.

I think I just created an Australian based urban legend.

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