Tuesday, January 11, 2011
SALT the Sequel
Watched 'SALT' last night, well that is to say I sat and ignored it, because it's a pile of shit, but Mark wanted to watch it - it is your typical Angelina Jolie flick;
Angelina wears a blonde wig
Angelina wears a black wig
Angelina gets wet
Angelina lands on a train
I would like to pitch these sequels:
CHICKEN SALT: Angelina goes undercover in China to discover spies.
SEA SALT: Angelina goes underwater to discover spies and swim with fish.
CELERY SALT: Angelina appears in an art nouveau film that is shot and black and white and there are no spies, but she meets a magician who has a hot air balloon that won't fly.
SALT & PEPPER: Angelina gets a sidekick - they solve crimes and crack wise ass jokes. Then they have sex.
SALT & VINEGAR: Angelina's sidekick betrays her and she has to kill him.
SALT & PEPPER SQUID: Angelina goes undercover in the Caribbean and tries to join Capt Jack Sparrow on his Pirate ship.
TABLE SALT: Angelina has to give up the spy game to be a stay at home mum and look after her niece whilst her sister in is rehab.
ROCK SALT: Angelina joins an all girl band to travel the world finding spies and playing mind control music to kill the president.
SALTY NUTS: Angelina goes undercover in an Italian Mental Institution to find Russian spies.