Tuesday, January 25, 2011

OCD Jobs.

I wish I was in a position to visit a school and give one of those "this is what you can be when you grow up talks" on Career Day. I don't remember ever having one of those talks when I was at school - maybe if I did I might have learned to hone my niche market skills, because that is what no one tells you about: Niche Markets.

Things you could be if you were kinda autistic in an OCD way:

STRETCHY CHEESE GUY:

You know those Pizza Commercials - when they pull out to the hero shot of a slice of pizza being pulled apart from the rest - that shot of the stretchy cheese is some guy's job. That guy gets paid a lot of money to make cheese look good. It's probably not even cheese - but some magic compound that he's come up with in his cheese laboratory to make cheese look all the more tantalising and cheesey. Works every time. Just looking at that stretchy cheese makes me want to order a pizza.

HAIR SWISH MAN:


You know those Shampoo ads - where some model with amazing hair swishes it about and you think to yourself "I should buy that shampoo - her hair looks amazing"... There is a guy who "invented" the hair swish technique - He gets flown around the world with his green stick that he sticks into the hair and then pulls it out to make the hair look good. He gets paid a lot.

Other weird things that I have come across are people whose job it is to go through a cat food packet and pick out the best bits. Disgusting. I wonder at what stage in these people's lives do they realise that they are really really good at making random things look good. Have you been sitting around with 500 pizzas pulling pizza slices and a friend leans over and says "you do that soooo well - you could seriously get a job being a professional pizza slice puller"

There are niche markets out there for everybody - I could be the person whose job it is to make the rug look nice - crawling around on my hands and knees pulling stray fibres and obsessively rubbing out any stains.

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