Thursday, January 06, 2011

Babymouse Killer....

(to the tune of Paperback Writer)
I've been in the hammock for about a week,
and I've seen a mouse where you take a leak.
I'll catch it for you if you really like,
I'll bash it brains in for you overnight.
Cos i'm a
Babymouse Killer........ (Babymouse Killer!!!!!)

Picture this: it's 2am, and you're stumbling down the hallway to take a pee in the darkness, then
all of a sudden KRICCHHH.. you stand on something... It feels crunchy and weird. You turn on the bathroom light and see that you've stood on the rigor mortis carcass of a dead mouse with it's brains ripped out.

Nice one Lenman!

I guess the important thing is that Lenny caught the mouse at all. Who would have thought he had it in him to be a babymouse killer?? Who'd have thought he would get out of the cat hammock for two seconds and become the Babymouse Killer?

My dilemma though was weather or not to tell Mark, because let's face it - he deals badly with most things..

The upstairs neighbours are laughing too loudly in bed.
There is too much mail in the downstairs hallway.
Someone dumped a dying christmas tree on the garbage pole.

I didn't think he would deal with a 2am mouse homicide, he probably would have called our landlord to report a mouse infestation. So I decide to conceal the evidence... there is something not right about finding a place to hide a mouse carcass. I didn't want to just flush it away because I wanted Mark to see it at a time when he would behave more rationally. So I wrapped it up in a napkin and put it in the fruitbowl till morning.

Then I had to deal with the problem of mousebrains in between my toes. I figured bathing it would cause too much commotion... too many questions, so I just went to bed with it, and could feel the hard little indents of its stiff legs imprinted forever in the skin of my sole. I don't think my foot will ever recover.

(to the tune of Straight Lines)
Waking up at 2am in the morning... stepping on a mousebrain.
I'm too asleep to deal with this right now.. stepping on mouse braaaain.

1 comment:

Amy said...

If I had mousebrain between my toes at 2am in the morning I don't think I would have been able to have any rational thought about not wanting to cause a commotion. I would have just been running round the house screaming with an unholy passion and fear.