Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Rachel's Bafta Reviews

I have access to the films that are up for BAFTA nominations "for your consideration" - and the person who these DVD's are supposed to go to, probably won't watch them so it is up to me to make choices for the BAFTA Awards Ceremony in 2011.

I've seen a few movies - here is my review:

(First up though - the most entertaining part of these movies is the screen that comes on saying 'after watching this can you please snap in half/self destruct'.. I mean, It's not like Dr Claw is going to get a hold of them and rig the BAFTA's, and I am not Inspector Gadget, so let's not continue with this charade)

127 Hours. Danny Boyle directs James Franco in the story of Aron 'got no hand' and his being trapped by a rock for 127 hours.

James Franco is on my 'I would leave my husband for this man' list - so he gets my Best Actor Vote regardless. However Danny Boyle's shitty direction makes this barely watchable, you would think he would have enough faith in the audience to find the story of a guy cutting his own arm off with blunt pliers would be sufficient, but noooooooo he has to do all tricky camera angles and split screen effects. Maybe that shit works with povo Indian kids living a fast paced lifestyle on a flea dump in Mumbai, but James Franco coming to terms with drinking his own pee and cutting his arm tendons is riveting enough for me.

MY PREDICTION: the rock that traps his hand gets Best Supporting Actor

True Grit. The Coen Brothers and Jeff Bridges, and Matt "trying to be Heath Ledger" Damon.

In a nutshell: Blah Blah Blah. Ponies. Blah Blah Blah Eyepatch.

Josh Brolin is the best thing in this because he is what?? 50 years old and still shaggable. Unfortunately he only has about 20 mins of screen time.

This movie is however a remake of a John Wayne of the same plot in 1969. Same eyepatch, Same Western Dust in everyone's eyes. Not Impressed Coens.

MY PREDICTION: The Eyepatch gets the Best Costume Award.

Hereafter: AKA: Clint Eastwood is losing his mind.

Imagine 'The Sixth Sense 2" and there are no ghosts, no scares, and rather than Bruce Willis solving crimes and helping disturbed children, it's Matt Damon going to Cooking Lessons.

MY PREDICTION: Matt Damon never works again in this town.

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