I have a lot of weird things delivered to me at work - part of this is because when you shoot tv commercials a lot of random stuff gets delivered as products and props, and you find yourself with three cats on your desk and 22 bottles of orange cordial wondering where everything went wrong after graduating from College...
Today's delivery is the most mystifying thus far:
Yep. That's an unmarked box. Full of Syringes. Filled with Milk.
"Are you sure these are for me??" I asked the courier who dropped them off, but seen as how all he had to go on was a postcode he was adamant that these were in fact - mine. "Yes. Maam. You need the milk??" (sorry not being racist, but he didn't speak excellent English. Like me.) I tried to convince him that I was in no way in need of a weird unmarked box full of milk syringes. God knows who would want them?? I sure didn't. But in the end I signed for them.. (peer pressure)
Then I sat and stared at them for a good hour or so.
Who were they meant for?
Why did they come to me?
Does someone think I need to be injecting myself with milk?
What kind of sick freak injects themselves with milk?
Are they milk syringes for someone with baby gorillas or something??
Who nearby has a pet gorilla and is hiding it in their bedroom. I want to feed this gorilla.
So if you happen to live in the Central London area, and are missing a weird box of milk syringes then by all means get in touch! They will be left in the snow because what better place than to leave a random delivery of milk needles than in the front yard??
At any rate I know what my secret santa is getting this year in the stocking!!!