I am always whinging that I never see any famous people in London, It seems like everyone else is seeing famous people all the time, and I just see the two Indians who work in the Newsagency.
Luckily though, I work next to a snazzy fancy pub. It is a lame pub. The drinks are really expensive, the clientele all look like gold digging whores and their rich sugar-daddy's, or just aristocrats who go and tan in the south of France all summer. Basically it's full of people who wear Pearls all year round. And they have weird high backed red velvet chairs. Half the time I expect to turn around and see Morpheus sitting in there offering me Blue Pills or Red Pills.
I like a place that is a bit more real, a place where you might just get glued to the floor from all the grime.
NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!! Guess who went into the Lame Rich Pub!
Gwyneth Paltrow. I love her. She achieved so much by the time she turned 30, and married a rockstar.
Thankfully this wasn't another Peter Jones scenario, I was fully dressed with clean clothes and hair. I walked past on my way to the post box on the corner and did a double take, then had to re-walk past and do a triple-take.. I must look like someone who doesn't know how to post mail. I should go in there and tell her that I do know how to post mail, and if she wants to employ me to be her minion her post is safe with me.
I suppose I will have to start going there now if this is where all the famous people hang.
Life is Hard.
ESCANDALO Update!!: I have been very graciously stalking around the building, walking past in different glasses frames and moustaches and I hate to be the one to break the news - but Gwyneth Paltrow the lactose hater/no gluten/only eats a macrobiotic diet handpicked by fairtrade ethiopians.. is in there eating PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to throw a cabbage at her head as she leaves and steps into her giant AUDI SUV.
Go Planet Earth!!!!!!!!!