Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Doorbell

If you ever wanted a modern age example of a placebo.... here it is..

At my work we have this big wooden old timey barn house door. But it is like most doors it works on the physics of the push to open and pull to close theory.

However, when 99% of people come to this door, they can't figure out how to open it.
They stare at it, they shove at it, they hammer on it, they look at me pleadingly through the windows whilst I sit and silently judge them from my pedestal. Eventually most of them succumb to just incessantly ringing the bell even though I am clearly staring into their eyes with a black sense of loathing. Do they think I can't see them?? Do they think by ringing the bell some butler called Jeeves will appear and take away all their door opening troubles.

No. But I do have the next best thing.

The magical buzzer noise. The magical buzzer noise is this buzzer thing that was wired up to the door years ago, it is now rendered obsolete, but we still have the buzzer noise and the button from which to make buzzer noises, and as soon as one of those inept retards hears the buzzer noise, they somehow figure out how to open the door (turn handle/push door).

It's like hearing the buzzer noise triggers something in their brain which makes them go "phew, the buzzer noise! now I can open this door" even though the buzzer does nothing. not a thing.

My door could possibly cure cancer or aids. if you were really dumb and gullible.

BZZZZZZZZZZZ I'M CURED!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

Friday said...

Hilarious!

I know how you feel, all.day.long. I watch people push on the door that has a giant fricking sign on it that says PULL!

I dont even help anymore... dickheads!

: )