Friday, August 06, 2010

Get used to this

Ever since realising I've been getting raped by the chemists back home for my pill prescription considering it is FREEEEEEEEEE in this marvelous country - I thought I'd give some more tips for anyone moving over here - stuff that I wish I had known.

Don't waste your money on prescriptions before you leave... they are either free or cost max £7

Remember the good old days when you could walk down a street without being squished from all sides?? yeahhhhh, that's never gonna happen again. Every night going through London is like New Years Eve.. there are sooooooooooooo many people. all the time. 8pm on a Wednesday night you can't walk anywhere without touching at least 1500 strangers. Don't even get me started about weekends. You will have to find shortcuts around the place unless you want to take 5 hours getting somewhere because you will be walking the pace of a snail behind 30,000 other people.

Tourists suck. I have done all the annoying things that tourists do to me on a daily basis - standing on the wrong side of the escalator (they kill you for that over here) not moving down the platform, gathering in large groups and blocking exits. OMG. I hate you so much. However I like being able to escape all this and travel an hour into some European country where the locals scowl at me whilst I squint at tube maps and block exits over there 'Fungooloooo Mamma Mia!!'

The street is your garbage bin... especially the lamp post outside my building.

Remember how in your old place it was nice and quiet with the sounds of birds chirping and the wind and ocean breezes?? well London is exactly like that except rather than 'quiet' it is 'always humming' and rather than birds, it's ambulances and pimped up cars with hip hop. Oh yeah, and your neighbours downstairs who plays the drums and his opera singer girlfriend, and the neighbours upstairs who build things with power drills at 10pm. There will also be a reggae band and Aretha Franklin singing on your street and a drum and bass house that never sleeps. Sleeping is for pussies.

You will have no time to just chillax. Pretty much every week is filled with a billion things - seeing a band, seeing a play, going on a road trip, flying to Spain. You will wonder why you brought over that box of DVD's because you probably won't watch a DVD the entire time you are here. You actually look forward to a weekend where you have absolutely nothing to do.

British people make fun of the way Australians talk, and Australians make fun of the way British people talk. this is a running gag that never gets old.. except it gets real old. real quick.

Having to renew your passport becomes the most stressful thing in your life because you have to stop booking trips away for 8 weeks until it comes back.

All your shoes from back home are USELESS against the winter. You will seriously need igloo boots. a thick rubber sole and filled with fur. I like my toes. I want to keep them attached to my body. In your face frostbite!!!!!

It really doesn't rain here as much as they would like you to believe. Unless I moved here during England's first Drought.. wouldn't surprise me.

Whinging is like Breathing over here.

As soon as you are earning pounds you will stop converting money into Australian dollars "wow!!! rubber soled furry boots for £200!!!! that seems reasonable".... (probably should have kept converting on that one..)

If you like oily noodle soup or cherry ripes, pack these instead of your DVD's.

Don't say I didn't warn you!


Fen said...

Ha ha I stocked up on prescriptions too and was bummed that the pill was free!

My British friends used to like shouting duvet at me all the time! For the first 6 months I lived not far off Oxford St, so even going to the local supermarket was a big fight. I was glad to move further out and away from the mad shopping crowds!

*sigh* I so miss London.

Anonymous said...

I'm married to an eternal tight arse. He still converts everything back to Aussie dollars and we've been here 15 months!

mmmm Cherry Ripes...and proper Milo!