Thursday, July 08, 2010

WHY I FUCKING HATE HAIRDRESSERS

I go to the hairdressers roughly every 6 - 8 months, they are a long time apart because I seriously can not fucking stand going to these jerks. They always tell me every time I am in there that I should be going to the hairdressers every 6 weeks, but a hideous appointment once a year is all I can handle.

These are my reasons.

1. Don't act belligerent towards me for not going to the hairdresers more often as soon as I sit in the chair. If you weren't a bunch of useless fucktards who are beyond expensive I would be here more often.

2. Trim means Trim. Trim doesn't mean cut off 6 inches. Trim doesn't mean give my hair layers where there were no layers before. Trim doesn't mean give me feathery wispy ends that need trimming themselves in 2 weeks time. Trim means Trim of the dead ends which usually amounts to about an inch and a half. If this needs explaining every single time I sit in the chair, wtf are they teaching you at hairdresser school????

3. Blowdry means Blowdry. Blowdry doesn't mean straighten the fuck out of my hair with hairstraighteners so my hair looks like a chav wig. Did you mistake me with Tina Turner when I walked in the door?? did you confuse my already dead straight hair with a giant afro??? What part of dead straight hair do you not understand?? I have dead straight hair, I dont need it burnt to a fucking crisp in order to be straightened anymore. Blow dry means BLOW dry. Use a BLOWdryer. Blowdry some body into it. This is why I go to the hairdressers so I can leave with a sexy blowdry and walk around like a catwalk supermodel for a few hours.

These things seem fairly simple to me. These are also things that I don't think I need to reiterate every single time I go into a hairdressers. I feel that these people are the expert professionals considering they get paid £50 for an hour ($100) and that explaining all these minute things to them would be undermining and embarrassing for them.

It is no wonder then when I sit in the hairdressers chair all I hear around me are people telling the current hairdresser stories of how they "never go to the hairdresser" that they had their hair cut short and hated it and have spent the past 2 years growing their hair long again. (ie: some stupid hairdresser traumatised them with a haircut that wasn't properly discussed with them) I know. I've been there. You rarely get a longer than 30 second 'consultation' about what you want done to your hair, is it any wonder that so many people go to these places as little as possible??! I hate the hairdresser more than any other profession in this world, and I refuse to go for as long as necessary.

What is really ghey is when you leave the hairdresser steaming in anger, go home and wash your hair and blowdry it yourself - washing away £50 essentially. What was the point of going??

This morning I called my hairdresser to complain. She yelled at me. She yelled at me that it was my fault for a good 15 minutes. She said it was my fault for not saying anything. She said that she doesn't understand how someone can sit there and not say anything and leave unhappy. Unfortunately, it is really hard to leave a hairdresser happy with your outcome when you are shoved in a line with 6 other people who are having their hair cut and blowdried, its louder than a chainsaw factory and the hairdresser can't understand a word you are saying.

To recap the hairdressers response to my unsatisfied visit:

It's your fault for not saying anything.
It's your fault for leaving and paying.
It's your fault for sitting there whilst it was happening to you.
It's your fault because actually 99% of customers would be disappointed if they didn't have their hair straightened to death when they come into the salon because "that's what they are paying for". Seriously, this is what this woman said to me.

Sorry. Sorry I made an appointment for a blowdry. I must have really inconvenienced you asking for something out the realms of your understanding. How could I possibly sit there whilst my hair is being manhandled and not say anything?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????

Well, maybe because by the time its done its too late!!!!!!!! and what am i going to say?? "sorry I hate hair straighteners, can you please re-wash my hair and blow dry it like I asked when I made the booking in the first place!" is this even an option?? I would have been there till about 11pm if that was the case. If we are living in a world with Blowdryers and Hairstraightners then we really need to start booking things in exactly as people want: "Wash + Straighten" or a "Wash + Blowdry" they are two different things and if it's so confusing the element of mystery needs to be brought to attention.

Instead the hairdressers solution is to yell at you and put you down that is YOUR fault that you left unsatisfied, and to book you in again with the same person who didn't do it right the first time - which is just beyond humiliating and I don't see how they could expect you to face someone when you've called to complain about them and look them in the eye and expect them to be nice to you?? Surely a free blowdry could be accomplished by someone who is in training? I don't expect a top stylist to give me their time for free. I don't even want to set foot in that place again. I think I will give my free blowdry appointment to the nice lady who sells BIG ISSUE outside of Wholefoods, as she would accomplish more sales with a nice sexy hairdo.

FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather have to go through a daily enema than have to go to the hairdresers again in my lifetime.

14 comments:

Fen said...

oh and AMEN to that.

kathryn said...

i love the hairdressers

Sarah said...

Wow. Way for her to encourage repeat business!

I'm so laid back about hairdresser visits that it scares most of them half to death, but I do sometimes wonder if that 'razoring' thing some of them do with the funny scissors is a technique propagated in the industry in order to make the hair-ends so fucked up that you have no choice but to make a return visit in the recommended 6-8 weeks. I'm another shirker- I haven't had a haircut in about 4 months.

Kara said...

amen i fucking hate hair dressers, yesterday i had long pretty hair that naturally thinned out towards the ends because thats what naturally hair does when it gets to such a long length, long story short, this lady tells me that hair is all one consistency...BULLSHIT I should have known she was an idiot when she said that, i ended up leaving thinking it was at least even to come home to find it is the most un even cut I have ever had, no wonder she was trying to push layers on me....if you love hairdressers you either have tons of money to get someone who has some knowledge of what they are doing, or you are likely an idiot with a large amount of apathy when it comes to how you look...

Tina said...

Say it like it is! I'm in Australia-the hairdressers here are fuckin AWFUL..you never get what you requested...they should sell hats at reception they'd do a killing...useless cunts

Rachael. said...

Sounds like its the particular hairdressers, I work in a salon and none of the above happens there if one of the girls/lads were to yell at a customer they'd be thrown on they're asses! However salons are a lot less busy now, seems these are the reasons to apparently why! So I think hairdressers take more care when handling unhappy or any customers for that fact.

Susan Davis BMus said...

Oooh, I could add so much to this. I now go to the longhaircommunity and learned how to just trim my own hair, I hate hairdressers so much. They seemed like such idiots, never understanding what I want, always giving me some hideous cut or colour I hate and can't wait to get rid of! And then one sits there in public, looking ones very worst (drowned rat comes to mind), while being tortured. I have a very sensitive scalp, too, so the combing out wet hair was such torture. I couldn't be happier now, just trim my long hair myself and trim a sideswept fringe and nobody seems to notice (my partner checks that it's all even at the back). It can be done ladies - if you hate the hairdressers, stop encouraging them ;)

Stephanie Hammond said...

I told my hairdresser to not touch the bottom length, only trim my bangs. She cut off eight inches from the back. Two months before my wedding. Childhood dream ruined = never going to the hair salon ever ever again.

Venus Williams said...

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

there is nothing that compares to that feeling of complete hollowness after leaving a hairdresser.

Unknown said...

i am glad i looked here,because after 12 years since i last went they are still arrogant idiots who think they know your hair better than you do I for sure ain't goin'again now fpor another12

quebecois77 said...

I am actually a hairdresser with 15 years behind the chair that recently wrote a book called The Dispensary "what really happens in salons" and I mention some of these exact points and more (trust me my peers are less than thrilled with me) but I had to tell it like it is, bullshit and all! Check it out at Amazon.com if you have the time.

allyson day said...

that was so damn funny I just sat here and laughed and laughed thank you for that! I hate them too but not really for the reasons you name because I could really care less what they do to my hair. Do you want to know what I hate about them? They're all stupid and you have to sit there and make innane conversation with them for an hour and all they want to talk about is stupid ass gossip stuff. I'm 50 years old and I know when I go to one who is my age I can just imagine what they were like when they were younger in high school. For oneI know these type of girls loved unicorns so fucking stupid among other equally as stupid stuff

kyle xy said...

U rude bitch! You don't realise how much hairdressers hate their asshole clients.

Irina Slesareva said...

I also have no choice but to start colour my blond hair and regrowth myself. Every second time I went there I had a bad experience. Last time it was too hot blow-dry: I said please, it's too hot , you burn me. Hairdresser: But your hair are so healthy, scalp is not red, why are you whinging? I saw another customer was waiting for her with his half done haircut (she started him when I my bleach was developing for 50 minutes). She lost her mind from the pressure and couldn't control herself. She tried to make my hair dry somewhat in 1 minute. That's why she constantly put the hot dryer tip straight onto my scalp nervously pulling my hair around. I had to stop and go out with the wet hair.
Another time I had hairdresser who was so tired (it was the end of the week for her) that she couldn't brush my hair properly after washing and did it roughly breaking them. It was so obvious that she wanted to finish me as easy and quickly as possible. There is a different story about apprentice who washed my hair last time squeezing shit out of them, and rough head massage. One day I had nice apprentice but when I come back in 3 months I had new one horrible rough apprentice. Why should I pay money for that?
Never again, that is not worth my time. They serve 2-3 customers at the same time and that's why I have a bad service. Apparently owners make them to take as much customers as possible at the same time. Greedy shit want my money. Fuck you I will do my hair myself.