Friday, July 23, 2010

Ukulele's are for Wankers

Are you 8 years old?
Are you head counsellor at a Hawaiian School Camp?
Are you in fact Hawaiian??

If the answer to any of these things is NO and you have a ukulele you are a wanker.

Ukuleles are for people who can't play the guitar properly but still want the attention of being able to play an instrument that no actual genre exists for, to be determined really fucking shit at it.

The only people allowed to play Ukulele's are people like Jimi Hendrix and Kirk Hammett who are only playing it to be ironic. Having not heard 'Master of Puppets' on ukulele, I would lend my ears for the first 24 bars. Then he better smash that thing good.

At no time should I ever be in a beer garden, or a backyard bbq, or anywhere except a Hawaiian girls 8th Birthday party and a Ukulele comes out for a rendition of some shit song, cos lets face it - there are probably only 2 songs on ukulele that sound good, the rest are just rubbish high pitched fag versions of themselves.

Plus the word: Ukulele is just stupid. Too many U's too many E's.. sounds like something Saruman might have created to send into Mordor to crush those tiny Hobbits'.

Screw You!! Tiny useless instrument.

1 comment:

sharnee said...

Oh you crack me up so much.
This is pure gold! xx