Friday, June 04, 2010

The Garbage Trees

You know what bugs me? the saying "children of all ages..." so basically anyone between 0 - 10 years old.. so just "Children" then... this is a stupid saying.

Speaking of Stupid... on my london street we have what I refer to as "the garbage trees". We have trees, but we also have poles where garbage mounds sprout from the ground like upside down spring blooms.

Essentially, London is just a city covered in garbage. We have 3-4 pick ups a week, but there is nowhere to actually put the garbage, not like sydney where you put your garbage in a bin, then put the bin in the bin place and then garbage men come and clean the bins away.. here it's more like:

you have garbage, garbage goes into bag, bag goes onto street... but it's not just anywhere on the street - its a particular part of that street - ie: the pole outside of our house has somehow become the garbage collecting pole that everyone on our block somehow decided through some mental osmosis would become the communal garbage dumping place. ??? who knows why?? i sure wasn't there at that meeting.

So the garbage dumping spot has become the 'garbage tree' to me.. mmm look at that garbage tree, sprouting some... pasta flowers... and some bonnet of a car.

Anyway - i'm right sick of the garbage trees. Not that I begrudge the garbage tree itself (everyone's got a place in this world) but does there need to be a big festering pile of garbage every day??? i could settle for 3 days a week at most.

This is where the Garbage Detectives come into play... Because the garbage trees are in a constant state of blooming, you can call the council and report illegally dumped garbage and they will send out the Garbage Inspectors to go through said garbage to find out who is responsible for the mess.

so basically I am a Garbage Informant.

I've already called them up to report offensive garbage, and to make them put up a sign "Yo! no garbage here niggaz and bitchez!" .. it's only a matter of time till I have a trenchcoat and some binoculars and they call me DICK GARBAGE... or The Garbage Dick.. either or.

I got my eyes on you.. pasta nappy carrot peelings trees.

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