Thursday, June 24, 2010

as much as lenny hate's the vacuum

Cats hate vacuums. Lenny especially hates the vacuum. I don't even have to turn the vacuum on, I just need to get it out of the cupboard for Lenny to start hissing and doing angry backflips all over the place... he really hates that thing. If he walks past and sees the vacuum, that is enough for him to shit his pants.. sometimes I wonder if I could just whisper into his ear at nighttime "vacuum cleaner" if he would flip out then too???

I wonder.. do I hate anything as much as Lenny hates the Vacuum??

I hate fake tan smudges.. when you think you've done an even job, then you realise you have giant finger streaks somewhere really obvious, like your inner arm, or your neck.. I really hate that...

I really hate when you stand at the busstop for 8 minutes and then decide to huff off because you can't be fucked waiting any longer, then when you are in between two busstops, and neither is close enough, the bus comes along. I really hate that.

I hate when you go shopping to make some amazing dish that requires like 15 ingredients, then when 11 of the ingredients are already in a bowl, you realise you missed one of the main ingredients and have to leave the house to go to the shop, and the dish never tastes right because it sat there for so long festering on the bench. I really hate that.

I hate when you're watching a DVD and you get half way through and it starts skipping because of a scratch, so you sit there going.. "maybe it only had that one scratch??" and you watch some more and it jumps again, so you think "maybe it was just those two scratches??" because you don't want to get up, stop the DVD, do the blowing on it, rubbing it on your shirt, and putting it back in and have to sit through the Menu options again. I really hate that.

I hate when you get to the end of the checkout and you realise you forgot one thing, so you run off in the hope that you will beat the person in front of you, so you can put your things through, then when you get back you realise you forgot something else. then you have to decide to take everything and go through the aisles again, or just live without that one thing. I really hate that.

I hate when you're in the shower and noone has made the executive decision to get a new soap out of the cupboard, so you have about 4 slivers of dying soap mashed together and you feel like a dirty old hobo using these. I really hate that.

I hate when you accidentally wear a shirt to work that exposes your boobies, like one lean down and its tit-city.. so you have to go to the shops on your lunch break and buy something really cheap and boring to sit in the rest of the day. I really hate that.

I hate when you buy fruit and you think "i'll just let it ripen in the bowl" then you wait a few days and bite into a piece and its way tooo ripe and splurts juice all over you, so you think 'fuck this!' and throw all the fruit in the bin. I really hate that.

But of all these things, I doubt I hate anything as much as Lenny hates the Vacuum.

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