Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Arguing Around The World: Scotland Edition

Since moving to London, all Mark and I have is each other. We don't have a huge network of acquaintances yet, we have some friends - The Number Ones', but no Number Two, or Threes. So it's pretty much just the two of us. All the time. I wake up. You're Here. I go to bed. You're Here. So it is no surprise that when you spend that much time together you will start to bicker over really stupid shit.

We went to Scotland over the Easter Holiday - which meant 96 hours of each other's faces. Common Arguments involve:

'why are we walking down this stupid street? surely there are better more exciting streets than this!! who picked this street?'

'I don't want to eat here. I'm not walking any further. We'll just have to eat at the next place we come across' - then proceed to walk around for an hour looking for somewhere suitable.

Whether or not it is gay to wear a seatbelt on the coach. 'I don't see anyone else wearing one. It's my choice to crash through the window. At least I won't look like the biggest dork on here.'

How many apples are ok to steal from the Hotel Lobby??

'Why are we even in this shop if we aren't going to buy some stupid CD of Scottish Highland Bagpipe Music??'

It helps pass the time anyway. In between going "wow. that is truly the most amazing thing I have ever seen", because there is a lot of that going on. The thing that gets me about moving over here and having easy access to trips around Europe is how amazing every single place we go to is. (and easy to get to, it takes 50 mins to fly to Edinburgh, it takes me longer than that to get ready of a morning) I haven't seen a dud yet. Scotland is sooooooooooo amazing. I will definitely be going back, or trying to move there one day.

What is not to love about Scotland? You can't walk two feet without tripping over a castle or some amazing historical monument. Although to be fair, if a rich history steeped in violence and war isn't your thing, you should probably go somewhere else. Oh look there's a beach with a palm tree...........

Edinburgh Castle. Built into a monumental mountain of towering volcanic rock. It is really breathtaking to see this for the first time. Nestled amongst the amazing Georgian Architecture that is the gothic looking Old Town.

I love Old Town. Anything that is Old is OK in my books. Edinburgh is quite a tiny city, one that was the site of hundreds of Witch Burnings, (bodies in the river) Plague, and general murder and hangings. I am sooooooooooo glad I wasn't alive back in those days. I wouldn't last two seconds. I am really quite attached to my flushing toilet. They actually had it really bad, for awhile they weren't allowed to speak Gaelic, gather in groups of 4, or wear tartan. Luckily Sir Walter Scott changed all that. Tartan for All!!!!!!!!

Things I learned about Scotland.

Kilts: no they don't wear anything under there. And the material is made from wool so it keeps you nice and warm so the need for pants is unnecessary. All Scotsman carry knives in their socks. Back in war days they would use their kilts as blankets to sleep in of a nighttime, then when battle was upon them, they would charge at their enemy in their wispy nightshirts with all their weapons on display. Hardcore Much??!

They really value their heroes and authors. I have never wandered around a city with so many statues erected for authors. I don't imagine that you would walk around a city these days and come across a giant monument to Stephen King or Stephanie Meyer... unless maybe they came from Scotland......... (note to self: write a book in Scotland)

Whiskey: they love it. Rain is actually referred to as 'raw whiskey'. And if you don't like whiskey then you haven't found the right whiskey for you. I found mine.

The Scottish Highlands are just breathtaking.

I have to admit my ignorance that I didn't even know that Scotland had ginormous mountain ranges. I thought it was just green rolling pastures. Which it is, until you get to the ginormous mountain ranges. Snow peaked mountains for hourrrrrrrrrrrs. I haven't seen so many pointy enormous snow peaked mountains in my life. So pretty. I can't help surveying the other people around me though when I do see those mountains for the first time to decided who I would eat if we crashed.

Loch Ness - one big lake. Saw a house that Alastair Crowley used to own to do his devil worship in which Jimmy Page brought off him. This quiet lake just doesn't seem the right setting for Led Zeppelin jam-outs. No monsters here.

Haggis: just a ball of seasoning. I heard all sorts of wrong things about Haggis, and back in the 'nothing else but pig guts' days, it was probably really disgusting. However - the gentrified expensive restaurant version of Haggis isn't bad at all. They will put it with anything - haggis tortellini, eggplant stuffed haggis, haggis stuffed with haggis. It's just a more meaty flavoured ball of seasoning - meaty bits with seasoning and oats. No big deal.

In Summary: Scotland - one of the prettiest places I have ever been. Plus what is not to love about listening to the Scottish accent???? I can't understand a word you are saying, but you sound really cool. Hypnotise me with those rolling R's.

Where to go next??! It's so hard, I want to go back to all the places I have already been!!!!!!!!! However Tuscany is next.


Anonymous said...

You should also go to the low lands - Loch Lomond is beautiful but I guess it's just more of the same, castles, lochs and LOTS of heather!

Anonymous said...

Scotland stole my heart too!! We spent Christmas '09 there and I wanna go back soooo badly!! I'd never imagined I'd love an ice covered beach....but if it was that gorgeous mid-winter then how freaking awesome must it be in summer!

My favourite thing about the Scottish? They are actually effing proud of their country and they don't freaking complain about the weather with every second breath they take (not that I'd be able to understand them if they did). The English out here (West Midlands) have so little national pride, all they do is complain about English weather and quiz me on why the hell I would move from warm Aus to this dreary hell hole.


They do love their Haggis don't they. They even had tinned Haggis in Aldi :P