Thursday, January 14, 2010

You can get it at Poundland

Back in Old Sydney Town, we have things called the '$2 shop' you can get everything in the $2 shop, but unfortunatley things in the $2 shop never actually cost $2, you still pay $5 for a giant bag of chips, or you'd pay 30c for a plug... it's a good shop, and when I worked there and was put on cash register duty, I did charge everything at $2... $30 crate of catfood?? $2.. $20 bikini $2.. people looked at me weird when I said everything in their basket was $2, but hey! don't call yourself a $2 shop and don't put me on cash registers when I specifically asked not to!!

That's all changed at Poundland.

In Poundland, everything costs One Pound. Everything.

toothpaste
toilet paper
batteries
chocolate biscuits
2 liters of milk
some almost expired ham
teatowels
sink unclogger
toblerone
chocolate orange

One Pound.

It's a magical place.

You know those crap ads, where there is some annoying voice over guy going "Poundland Poundland Poundland!!!!!!!!! you can solve all your troubles at Poundland, Everything One Pound!!Heaven is Poundland"

I would like to be in one of those ads. Being in a testimonial commercial for Poundland is my life's ambition. Especially if I was filmed in my crappy "goin to poundland" outfit. When you go to Poundland you don't need to dress up. I don't even wash my face. You can wear your tracksuit pants tucked into your gumboots and nobody would look at you sideways in Poundland. That isn't to say that sexy people don't go to Poundland. Poundland isn't just for ugly people. Poundland is for all people.

Fuck I love Poundland.

I also love seagulls in the snow:

Seagulls in the Snow
You don't belong here
Something must be wrong.
You've nowhere to go dear,
When there's Seagulls in the Snow..

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Haha love your $2 shop philosophy... I'm sure that technically made you a bad employee, but it makes a lot of sense!