Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A Very Rabies Christmas

A Very Rabies Christmas To Me! (to you!)
A Very Rabies Christmas To You! (to me!)

Christmas 2009 went down like this:

Christmas Eve in the Winter Wonderland, a themepark set up in Hyde Park to cater to ride lovers and shmucky yuletide festivities: German Sausages, Sauerkraut, Mulled Wine, and Eggnog!!!!!!!!! My whole life I have watched John Hughes Christmas Movies (home alone) and wanted to see what the hell this Eggnog business is all about??? BUT the one night of the year which is the most Eggnogy night of all, they stick me with this "we only sell Eggnog on weekends" pfffffft. So no eggnog for me, and the circus was sold out, so no circus lions or crappy yoke drinks this year.

Christmas Day, first time in London, there was no snow, but plenty of breezy cold weather. I cooked up some festive treats - including chef-ing up a roast and some ham.. let's talk about Ham.. Londoners don't really get ham. They sell this stuff called Gammon which is uncooked ham, and never having cooked a ham before I didn't want to start this year. I asked all around about Ham that is ready to go, but noone knew what I was talking about, finally my Christmas Ham Adventure came to a crux when I found a fistful of honeyed ham on the bottom shelf of Sainsbury's. London: 0, Christmas: 1.

Other things on my christmas menu included: mulled wine, pumpkin pie, and roasted chestnuts. We thought it would be nice to take some nuts to the park to feed to the squirrel's in Holland Park, and that is was, until one of them mauled me!!!
Nothing says Christmas like getting rabies from a Squirrel who is so full of christmas passion from my roasted nuts that he can't tell the difference between my fingertip and a nut. After Fluffy McFlufferson's chomped my hand off we had to find a chemist.. which is really easy on Christmas Day when everything is closed.

It was kind of hard to choose what we would do: a) run around London for some Squirrel-Off, or b) just suck it up and hang around the house seeing if my hand grew fur. My thoughts were we could just soak my hand in some Whiskey and hope for the best, and presto! No Rabies. although I did devour an entire bag of nuts, so whose to say that a little squirrelly vibe didn't rub off on me.

The rest of the time was spent eating and drinking, then eating, and drinking, and then some eating, followed by some drinking. Lots of Pear Cider and Pumpkin Pie, and Pannetone! This christmas brought to you by the Letter P!

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