You know how cold today was: Dicksuckingly Cold.
I say this because that is the only way I can describe how cold it is so you get the full picture of the coldness. I don't know about you, but I have really sensitive teeth, and no matter how much sensodyne I use, I still can't eat cold things, and just thinking about eating something cold makes my front teeth hurt.
So today when I left home I noticed after awhile that my teeth were hurting, well my friends that would be because it was dicksuckingly cold.
- 1 degrees
Now i've rugged up to the best of my ability, and I'm actually feeling quite cosy and somewhat over-heated to be honest, except my goddam teeth are freezing.
There really isn't anything you can do if it's so cold your teeth are freezing, so I did the only thing I could do.. I walked around with cock-sucking face to keep my front incisors from freezing up and falling out.
What?!? What choice do I have until some genius makes me a toasty warmer tooth beanie?? the only way to stay warm teeth-wise, is to curl those lips over your teeth and try to breathe through your nose...much like the lady above is doing.
No wonder people were giving me the side-eye. Lucky I was walking around Soho which is the cocksuckingest capital of London so noone would have noticed anything too out of the ordinary.