Friday, December 18, 2009

Death to Wind chimes

When we moved into our new apartment we met our neighbours, there was an Aussie girl living under us, the person who used to live in our apartment was a french guy, and we met our upstairs neighbour who was pleased to note that we weren't psycho's.

Apparently the French Guy living there before us was a bit weird, as in didn't want to make small talk on the stairways when they passed each other, and just gave off a weird vibe. Having never met the guy I can't make assumptions on his weirdness. It is nice to know that I have been branded the normal neighbour, but unfortunately I am going to have to break that illusion because I am way more freaky than the anti-social Frenchy.

I have said this before but I absolutely deplore wind chimes. I hate wooden chimes, I hate seashell chimes, I hate tinkly aluminium chimes, I would seriously be shooting myself if I moved in next to the wind chime lady who lived in the Wind Chime House from Twister.

There is nothing worse than trying to get to sleep when you have to listen to someone else's wind chimes tinging in the breeze. It's like noise pollution. I equate it to leaving a festering pile of garbage outside in the blazing sun to rot all day and waft in through your neighbours windows. Keep that shit to yourself. If you like the sound of wind chimes hang them inside your apartment, and I in return won't play the drums in the communal stairwell.

You see?! how can I say this to my neighbour who thinks I am normal??

The positive thing about all this is that I appear normal from the outside (like a serial killer) who one day scales the building like a cat burglar to cut the cords on your freakin wind chimes like a shadow in the night.

4 comments:

Steph said...

Totally agree, I need complete silence to sleep, even the sound of my boy breathing sometimes drives me to want to smother him in his sleep.
Evil. Yes.

I hope you have a fantastic xmas. xx

suze2000 said...

Rip those fuckers down. I hate wind chimes too. I really do. They are on a par with fucking basketball hoops on my list of Things To Avoid When Searching For A Home.

Though to be honest with you I'm surprised you even have your window open, what with the cold and the snow and all. :) (lucky you!)

Ellie said...

Superglue them together. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely -- Satan's little orchestra. It's on a par with leaving a boombox playing bad rap music outside and pointed at your neighbor's house 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

How smug and self-centered do you have to be to do this? How twisted is your world view to thing that you're doing everyone a favor.

I find that when you ask the owners, "don't those drive you crazy," they invariably reply, "I don't even hear them."

At that point, I want to grab them by the lapels and scream, "THEN TAKE THEM THE FUCK DOWN!".