Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Fermals & Furballs

Things I'm Gonna Do in London, no matter how lame they sound.

* Stalk Russell Brand - apparently he lives in Hampstead Heath, how big can that be? I think my first few weeks will be spent hiding in bushes with binoculars looking for men in tight leather pants to bad touch.

*If i'm gonna be hangin in the heath I better dress Heath. I've noticed that anything goes in London. So I am going to dress myself the way I imagine radioactive blind insane monkeys would. Thermals and a Wetsuit, spruced up with a nice hat.

*talk london. i'm not sure which dialect I should be aiming for here, but I'm going to first try out a bit of ye olde cockney - this will go down a treat when I am doing the dodgy sight-seeing at first, then onto poshy snob british, then I might do a bit of 'got no teef' london talk.

* lose my nose septum.

*grow my armpit hair nice and long for extra warmth

oooh yeah. 6 days.

No comments: