Friday, July 31, 2009

Excitement Levels: Astronomical

I'm not gonna lie. The past 3 months of my banal existence have been BORING.

Grade A. Kill Yourself Boring.

Most days are spent trying to figure out ways to while the time away.. don't want to get up too early, cos then there's more hours of the day to fill... then going to the gym, going to buy groceries and surfing the net or reading a book till 2am, and then the whole sordid mess starts again!! Bloody painful it is.

I really detest not working. Sure it's nice to not have to get out of bed before 10.30, but really, these are the days of my life when I should be kicking ass.. licking ass and getting business cards and corner offices with floor to ceiling glass windows. I'm gonna be 30 in a year, I can't spend my last year of my 20's as a goddamn ornament on the couch!!

BUT! I haven't been able to get a job cos I'm going on this dang holiday. Stupid Holiday. Getting in the way of my career. I haven't been able to get any full time job cos they just laugh me out of the place

"yeah, alright I'd love the job but.. umm.. I'll actually be going away for a couple of months within the first month of working here....is that ok"

"get out of here devil child!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Not that this actually happened, but I can imagine that's what would happen, and rather than partake in such an awkward scenario, I've just been avoiding applying for jobs altogether.

I could have applied for casual jobs in the meantime, but truth be told... I'm probably to spaz to get any of those job.. Bag Groceries!!! I can't bag groceries!!! I can't even figure out the change of $3.50 out of $10 note without a calculator!! Pffft. No way. I am way to stupid for that.

Or am I??

I went across the road into the new shiny supermarket and they have these new 'self serve' areas - which truth be told - wtf are they there for?? There's still some poor lady who has to stand guard, as humans aren't the most honest bunch of beings on the earth are they?? What a crap job.. I'd still do it though.

Anyway -so we have these self serve things that I've never seen before, feeling like I'm in a futuristic episode of the Jetson's, and to my amazement... I can scan and bag groceries!!!! Truth be told I wouldna done it if I didn't have 15 hours up my sleeve, but seen as how I've got all the time in the world to fuck this up, I'll have a go, luckily.. I didn't. It went off smoothly. I even used the vegetable index to find my 'mushroom cups loose' per KG pricing. I thought you needed a degree for this shit.

So now!!! I am definitely going to apply for jobs bagging groceries, cos one time = 2 years in resume speak right?? Yess.

My only qualm would be that the bagging groceries uniform is a hideous leaf green, which does nothing for my complexion.

Interestingly enough - the self serve Jetson's phenomenon has been around for yonks in Europe... I'm glad I saw it before I left before making a right eejit of myself going around London in my first week

"OMG you have to see this!! It's a self scanner.. amazing!!!!!!!!!!! Let's take photos of this mystical and technologically advanced machine to send to those backwards heathens at home.. at least now we know what they're doing with their budget at NASA.. "

That would have been embarrassing. That's not to say I won't find it exciting when I'm there still, and will make people take photos of my scanning my goods like a Big Girl. But at least now I know better than to wet my pants with excitement.

2 comments:

mindlessmunkey said...

I HATE those self-service check-out things! They are evil!

I was a professional check-out person for FIVE YEARS (and was ace at it, if I do say so myself), but I cannot use the self-serve things to save my life.

The machine always cracks the shits and says PUT THE THING IN THE BAG! even though I already did, or else it says AN UNEXPECTED THING HAS BEEN PUT IN THE BAG! when I haven't even touched the bag. I always have to call for help from the staff-member and it ends up taking three times as long as the regular check-out, not to mention being rather embarrassing.

Jewels Diva said...

Big W has had them for awhile now.