Thursday, June 04, 2009

Dry-Spoon-Fucking

So many men these days are homo-phobic... not so much in the 'not wanting to be around gays' per se, but definitely 'not wanting to do something that could be perceived as gay'

Example:

You and your mate are stranded on top of an icy mountain, there is no way rescue is going to reach you before morning, you have a some sleeping bags, a tent, but temperatures are going to plummet to super-freezing.. and the best chance of your survival, is to get naked, get into the sleeping bags and naked spoon-fuck each other like nothing else until morning.

Hey! It's not my fault that this is how nature engineered the human body! We radiate shit loads of heat off our naked bodies, if it's good enough for the Matrix to make batteries of us, then it should be good enough to be a last ditch effort survival plan to rub our naked bodies against each other till help arrives.

But No, my husband has expressed his clear intention - that he would rather freeze to death than naked spoon-fuck a man all night.

What a homo..phobe. I'd sooo be naked spooning ANY person if it would ensure my survival.

Even if I added the ingredients of a) wearing underpants - so no nut-brushing would occur (dry-spoon) and b) the person you would be trapped with is Andy (our joint man-best-friend) he would still rather die.

pfffffft. So that is why unfortunately I am going to have to insist on there being an attractive woman present at all future mountain climbs that he partakes in in the Andes Mountain Ranges. He might be a homophobe, but I still want him alive.

I'd Dry-Spoon-Fuck any of my friends on a mountain range. That's just the kind of friend I am.

2 comments:

Nina said...

Shit I'd dry-spoon-fuck anyone if it meant staying alive! Even a fat, sweaty, hairy old dude. I reckon your man is lying anyway, they all lie about crap like that so that they don't seem gay. Laaame. You'd think the boob obsession would be enough to let us know they're not gay, but apparently not.

Anonymous said...

Yeah , Guys don't even do giggly sleepovers!!! in the same room let alone bed!!!