Friday, May 01, 2009

Shit Inducing Locations

So, everytime I go to the library - I have noticed that every single time I get halfway down an aisle, I get the urge to shit.

Like immediately!

And I have to walk with my cheeks pressed together for the entire rest of my library trip.

Why is this??! Does the smell of old books have some sort of untapped laxative effected?

Lucky I didn't pursue any careers that revolve around copius amounts of time spent in libraries.

Librarian
Someone in the Government
A Treasure Hunter

Imagine if Indiana Jones also had the same library/poo affliction I have, and in that scene in ' Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade' when he and that nazi bitch are sniffing around the library for clues, and he has to take a break from smashing the 'X marks the spot' place to go dump a massive turd.... that would have been an awkward part of the film.

However, The Da Vinci Code was such a shitty film, I wouldn't have noticed any shit-breaks whilst they went to various shit inducing libraries. In fact I'm pretty sure that whole film was spent with Tom Hanks pinching a turd.

Lucky there is lots of space to crop dust, specially when you're looking at books in the interior design section.

2 comments:

Steph said...

I have a similar problem when i go to get ma hairs did. I know I'm gonna be there for a few hours, so I always go before I leave home, but as soon as that bleach hits my head (what? You thought I was a natural blonde??) I get the sudden urge to defaecate.

It's rather annoying. I hear butt clenching is good for the glutes though......not so much your bowels, but there ya go.

MissB said...

I get that very same feeling at the library, and so does a close friend! Crazy! Great post to delurkify from, huh ;)