Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Ok - so I'm at a literal crossroads in my life - gotta have a plan. This is it:

PLAN A: find another job within my field of knowledge and experience in the 'industry' - however this time not working in some skank's filthy loungeroom, and not having to clean out crusty oil burners. Ideally working with two hilarious homosexuals, who like to go shopping and have long lunches, and we can sit around and gossip about the clients and what parties we are gonna go to, and have drinks every friday and have sleepovers... but do proper work amongst all of that. This time I want business cards/a reason to wear clothes nicer than pyjamas to work/and people I dont want to stab working within 30 centimeters of me.

PLAN B: Go back to Uni and be like Pauly Shore from 'Son in Law' and never graduate and live life like one big partyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This would be great. I could do loads of useless Graduate Diplomas and hang at Uni Bars, and join Uni Rallys, go to Uni Dances, and wear high waisted jeans and scrunchies.

PLAN C: Graduate, and get a job as a secondary school Drama Teacher "Welcome to Mr G's room, G's Room, G's Room, Welcome to Mr G's room, come inside" Obvs I would have to do a Dip Ed in Teaching whilst on my party bender, and then I could go to my calling as a weird drama teacher. I think this would be most fun. "Now lets all be trees" and also having my vast experience in the world of actors I could sit them down and tell em truth "you with the moustache! yeah stacy.. pick another career" (its harsh, but true. Nida don't want no hairies) Plus then I would finally have a captive audience to perform in front of all day long, and I suppose 'teach' the art of being a soulful weirdo.

PLAN D: Have a kid. Can't be too hard. Plus it would be fun to have someone to walk to the shops with and talk to - even if they arent talking back ,and are just spewing and farting all over the place. It's probably no worse than hanging out with a really old person all day long.. also could sell it to some childless couple in Sweden.

PLAN E: Ski with the Trees. Everyone knows how dangerous it is to Ski with the Trees (Sonny Bono - i'm lookin in your direction) so as a final resort I could Ski with the Trees, on the downside you will probably die, but on the upside - if you just cripple yourself really badly - you'll probably get a cripple pension to live on, an then I could move somewhere and design a house with ramps and no doors.... (and get really good upper body strength and compete in Murderball)

Good Work! A +

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Definitely Plan A!!!
Do you need an assistant?