Wednesday, April 29, 2009

1 x Curse Removal

About 4 years ago, an angry chinese woman put a curse on me. Want Proof!?

Number of Books Published = 0
Number of properties in the mountains = 0
Beachhouse = 0
City Penthouse 0
Original Basquiat Paintings = 0
Personal chefs/stylists = 0
Scared underlings working below me = 0

As you can see - a pretty comprehensive list of things I do.not.have, due to the curse... and also the fact that I wasted 4 perfectly good years of my life working in stupid jobs with psychopaths, when I could have been selling my ovums to gay parents who want kids. Alas I have none of these things.

So last week I went back to where it all began and had my curse removed.

Four Years Ago: I was at the Chinese Gardens in Darling Harbour and was in one of those 'I don't really feel like paying for this' moods, $6 for some strategically placed rocks! a well manicured pond?!.. pffft. we'll see.

So I snuck in, got about 5 meters in when a very angry chinese lady chased me out of there yelling at me in both english and chinese, to which I assumed was a curse, and 4 years of plague/ruin/suckfest have proven me correct!

Last Friday: I went back to the Chinese Gardens and paid the money to get in, and threw change into any body of water I could find, and touched all their magic rocks, and spied many magical koi fish. All in all, I felt very prosperous about life post curse removal.

Afterwards - I went to Imax, and they made a mistake with our tickets, and gave us a $10 refund. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Curse is Removed Officially!!

Although I did get cripplingly bad blisters on the way home, but you can't expect all remnants of the curse to be removed entirely in 3 hours.

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