Last night I saw Russell Brand perform at the Hordern Pavilion in his stand-up show "Scandalous"
Russell Brand is fucking hot.
He just oozes sexuality. Hot. Feminine. Rockstar. Junky. Sexuality.
Would I tap that? Yes. Yes I would.
I loved Russell's Booky Wook. He stole the show in 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', and pretty much just thinking about Russell Brand makes me happy. We have a lot in common.
Inappropriate sense of Humour
Love of Cats
Suffice to say I was wetting my pants with excitement when I scored 2nd row tickets to his show.
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is not the most exciting part of this story.
So I'm sitting in my seat, having got there early as the ticket said 'starts at 8pm SHARP!!!" which it did not! (lying cunts) so I got to watch the place fill up. and it was packed. Anyway, I'm people watching and I see this guy walk towards me and I'm like "I know him..."
It's Ben Gillies.. (the drummer) from Silverchair... and his dumb girlfriend.
He sat behind me..
OMG OMG OMG
that was pretty cool.. then when the lights started dimming and the show is about to start I turn around to get a perv and whoa!! guess who is sitting next to Ben
Right Behind Me!!!!!!!!!!
Holy Shit I think I had an aneurysm.
At this stage Russell could have come out and performed the alphabet and it would have gone down in history as the best show I've ever seen. Just sitting in the Hordern Pavilion knowing that Daniel Johns was right behind me (i had better seats than him) looking at the back of my head (and my sexy neck??) was too much... how does one watch Russell Brand when they are also trying to look sexy/demure/smart/without an irritating laugh when Daniel Johns is sitting behind them??
So yes, I sat for 2 hours with the love of my life (in rockstar terms) less than half a meter from me. I was giddy.
Oh and his stupid alien-head dumb slut girlfriend Louise Van De Vorst was with him too.. (die bitch)
ON WITH THE SHOW
First up Merrick & Rosso opened for him. DUMB SHIT NOT FUNNY HACKS!! This is their routine in a nutshell:
wow!! titillating stuff!! fucking get some new material you boring lame-o's! You're fired. If anything they made Russell look 150 million times better.
Russell finally comes out. I was riveted.
Russell is all about controversy. I love it. He does everything in the name of comedy. Anything bad that happens to him turns into a funny story. He is such a genuinely naturally funny guy. I just love him so much.
His act is about him, his life, his nuances. I am so over 'observational' humour. It's been done. Russell lays himself bare and shows his wounds to the world and doesn't turn away when the audience flinches. We embrace everything about Russell because we are all the same on some level with our perversions, narcissism, and idiocrisy. Russell is just brave enough to put it on display.
There was not one boring moment in the show, from reading out his death threats, to showing us his new 'cock-pants' (sass & bide leggings). It was over too quickly but I was duly satisfied.
I would see another Russell Brand show in a microsecond. Even if I wasn't within breathing distance of Daniel Johns, I'd still say that this was the best stand-up show I have ever seen, and ever will see given the lack of Russell Brands in the world.