Tuesday, March 17, 2009


So, todays news is that two little girls disappeared from a McDonald's whilst their grandparents were being major cunts to them and having an argument.

This is what they look like:

Let me get this straight.. these two ran away from the McDonalds?? Pfft. Who are they kiddin?? I'll bet $20 that the one on the left is currently hiding behind the chip frying machine eating the droppings and sucking on the oil vent.

But seriously, hope they find em, maybe award them with a carrot or two and some lipsuction when they show up

Maybe the fat one ran off to join The Goonies?? there is always room in this world for another 'Chunk', maybe she's hunkering over a blender right now confessing all her worldly sins to the Fratelli Brothers??

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life...


Rant Rambler said...

Hahaha... that was funny with the vomit. I would've loved to be there.

That reminds me of something I did... My high school had four levels. I used to be right at the top with my mates. I was eating a sandwich and I saw the principal at the ground level, right below me.

I didn't think. I just opened my mouth and a good chunk of wet sandwich fell right in the middle of his bald head.

He was pissed off for months. Thankfully he never found out who did it.

Anonymous said...

Oh, look - Fatty was found:


Knew their stubby legs wouldn't get them far...

(Word verification: mongly! HA!)

Anonymous said...

you are a fucking heartless whore.
the goonies bit was funny though.

Anonymous said...

...and Rant Rambler...what a DUMBASS you are...not even knowing that it was taken from the movie The Goonies...you just confessed up to that shit...loser.

Rant Rambler said...

I'm glad to see that the literacy level of trolls is getting better every day. In a few centuries you may be able to engage with people in a constructive way.

As to The Goonies... I saw it the mid 80s when it came out, and some time in the mid 90s. I remember I enjoyed it but obviously, I have better things to remember.

I see that it is even mentioned on the post itself that the quote is from the film... obviously working at night has its consequences. I confess to a momentary lapse of reason.

In regards to being a dumbass... thanks for your attempt but actually you're wrong I'm an arsehole which is a lot nicer.

Anonymous said...

You showed no signs of being an arsehole,had you had done so,I would have chuckled and let it go.However,your sharpless wit lead to your embaressing confession and even more bland "touché"reply...Yawn.
I wanna see the Arsehole inside of you next time,Dumbass.