So, todays news is that two little girls disappeared from a McDonald's whilst their grandparents were being major cunts to them and having an argument.
This is what they look like:
Let me get this straight.. these two ran away from the McDonalds?? Pfft. Who are they kiddin?? I'll bet $20 that the one on the left is currently hiding behind the chip frying machine eating the droppings and sucking on the oil vent.
But seriously, hope they find em, maybe award them with a carrot or two and some lipsuction when they show up
Maybe the fat one ran off to join The Goonies?? there is always room in this world for another 'Chunk', maybe she's hunkering over a blender right now confessing all her worldly sins to the Fratelli Brothers??
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life...