On the weekend I went to one of those Hens Nights where its just dick dick dick. Pin the dick on the groom, dick cups, dick water bottles, dick ornaments, paper dicks. Then the stripper arrived (black) and in that case, we didn't get any dick!? whats up with that.. I don't want to see your shaved pubes.. its dick or nothing at this point.
Plus you just know that if the roles were reversed and it was a female stripper, we'd all have our noses in that flap at some stage. It's a given that a female stripper is going to get her inner flaps out on display, but the most a guy gives you is pubes!!!!! pfffffft. What does he do during the week anyway?? I can't help but think that he does something really ordinary, like work at Cellarmasters with all the other unemployed actors in Sydney.
Luckily though, the stripper showed his dick under a towel to the Hen, so that's all that matters.
Next stop: Karaoke Bus..... having never been on a karaoke bus before I really didn't know what to expect, on the one hand I love karaoke.. on the other hand I don't like buses, and I get motion sick at the best of times, let alone reading lyrics and singing at the same time...
Once you get passed the 'oh my god' threshold and just go with it, the Karaoke Bus does deliver a good time.. a very loud, debauchery, good time. Is this even legal??
The 'Karaoke Bus' was just a regular bus.. with tinted windows, microphones, and an esky where the back doors would be. Drinks Ahoy! Swinging in the Aisles, Screaming.. it's actually like what every bus trip to the city should be of a morning. Pornographic pole rubbing, boobies flying everywhere.. If only the 247 could get a bit more funky, I might actually enjoy going to work for once.
We drove around the Northern Beaches, stopping at various pubs for drinking intervals, pee-breaks, and i'm sure some people were throwing up.. how could they not??
Luckily I arrived home in one piece.
Catching a bus will never feel the same again.