Sunday, February 08, 2009

Heatlies

There are many things in this world I don't believe in; the easter bunny, the loch-ness monster, the grudge chick that comes out of your ceiling, and the weatherman.

The weatherman is such a lying cocksucker that I really think having the occupation of 'weatherman' should be up there with used car salesman, pediatrician gyno, and casual rapist.

They are such jerks.

Alllllllll week there have been copius news stories on the front page of the newspaper warning us about a heatwave... high 40's.. will the health system be able to cope??? keep cool, keep inside, don't die from heat exhaustion.

The worst part of heatwave hype is having to indulge people in boring heatwave talk.. "and how will you stay cool over the weekend?" i'm going to fucking camp out in front of my fridge. fuck! who cares??!

and you know what the temperature is today?? the holy hell heatwave?

26 degrees.

what the fuck?? I was expecting to be naked this whole weekend with a bag of frozen peas attached to my flaps. Whats the point now?? I'm not even working up a mild sweat. I'm wearing clothes people. Clothes.

Well fuck you weatherman.

I'm sure it's hot out west or something, but I don't live out there so it doesn't count. I'm sure they're livin it up in their spas in the driveway in the direct sunlight anyway. Get a pool already!!

IS IT HOT ENOUGH FOR YA??!

3 comments:

KittyMeow said...

I WISH the weatherman was bullshitting about yesterday's Melbourne forecast. I couldn't believe there would be a 44 amongst a day of 33 and another of 25...but they said it would be 44 on Saturday...and so it was 46!! Argh. Cunts. Wish they were lying.

unique_stephen said...

I got burnt by the solar heating in the pool.

Anonymous said...

this is a tactful post