Monday, January 05, 2009

Potatoes from Mars

A clear gauge of a great relaxing holiday, is just how suicidal you feel upon your return. This morning I was ready to jump off a cliff.

First up, there are no rainforests in Sydney, and most importantly there are no green tree frogs napping on my fridge in Sydney.



One might wonder, what positive influence a tree frog napping on your fridge holds, well if you happen to be addicted to iceblocks and can't open the freezer for fear of disturbing the frog and have him jump on you, then you are beating the christmas bulge right there!

It's called "the white lipped green tree frog diet"

No swimming holes, no wearing a bikini all day, no eating a bag of lychees and hosing yourself down afterwards, what exactly did Sydney hold for upon my return?

RIP OFF: on the good ol' Cairns highway, fruiterers sell their wares by the side of the road, so its easy to pick up a pineapple, a bag of nectarines, or a kilogram bag of lychees - these are generally sold between $3 - $6 a bag... however upon trying to scratch my lychee itch back home, I discovered we are being anally raped in the fruit department. $17 a kg!!!!!!!!!!!! are you kidding me!!!!! who wants to get a plane and do some qld/nsw lychee runs?? we could be millionaires.

UNFAIR: I find this mornig my weekly bus-ticket has gone up $2 a week!! $2!!!!!!! wtf?? and not only that, my bus was 11 minutes late!!!!!!! where is my money going??? gripe gripe grunt.

EXTREME SLOPE: I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that Bondi Beach is the worst beach ever. Rough. No trees. Brown Grass. Surrounded by Concrete. Billions of Bathers. Are these people mental??? there is no shade. there are no palm trees. no sea turtles?! and the slope I had to sit on to read my book in the tiny fingernail amount of shade available was on a 85% angle. ooh yeah.. relaxing.

so I decided to cheer myself up by throwing my one leftover steamed potato into my neighbours chimney. hopefully it went all the way down and they will wake up to find a white, steamed, peeled potato sitting in their hallway and think up crazy theories from whence the potato came.

"potatoes from mars" perhaps??

Ergh....... work is for losers.

1 comment:

KittyMeow said...

Shit I thought it was just me somehow receiving evil karmic payback for having a relaxing holiday.

I was welcomed back to Melbourne with MY train ticket going up $1.40p/w (not as bad as you though) - ticket inspectors on the train - locking myself out of the house after trekking for hours to get there via a shop - a shop in which I looked for a particular brand of moisturiser they did not have and leaving my work swipe card in my locked house meaning I have to use the other gate to get in where security is which is TWICE as far from the train station. Stupid big factory....

So all in all, I hear ya sister. Le sigh.

(tee hee, my Google word verification spells HOTTER)