Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Hippie Dust

At some point, one has to think of the possibilities of the afterlife. Are we just wormfood in the ground? or do we go to a more spiritual place? one things for certain.. you don't take your physical body with you. So what to do with it??

Burn it to a crisp?? or bury yourself 6 feet under.

I think this decision separates the two distinct types of people in the world.

Hippies & Undead Soldiers.

Hippies for instance, want to be burned and have their ashes scattered around the place to be part of the wind, the ocean, a tree. That's boring. The only good thing about becoming dust is that you will be able to fly into someones lungs and haunt them from inside by giving them a nasty cough for the rest of their life.

I personally want to be buried and have my corpse rot and decompose over a decade or two, so that when some evil wizard raises us all from the dead, I can fight in the ultimate war of stupid humans VS the ultimate skeleton army.

Yeahhhh. That's gonna be a great day.

Too bad if you're a dusty hippie in the wind and a breeze blows past and you miss the whole thing.

Corpse Forever.
Dust Never.


Zoe said...

I have my burial all planned out (I'm only 22, btw). Firstly, there will be no autopsy, don't care if my death was suspicious. No embalming or any of that shite. I'll be interred in an open coffin in an above-ground tomb that can be opened from the inside and has a phone next to my coffin.

Because I may not really be dead, you know. They may just think I'm dead, even though I'm not really. And if I'm not dead, I don't want to wake up and freak the fuck out cos I'm buried alive/trapped in a tomb/about to be cremated/being autopsied while still alive.

So yeah, I'll join your army of the undead.

Helen said...

Imagine being cremated if you weren't really dead... but then again, is that worse than being buried alive?

They sued to put strings inside coffins attached to bells so if you woke up you could pull it and ring the bells and be dug up. Why don't they do that anymore?

Rant Rambler said...

Imagine your ashes being scattered in the wind and then some wizard comes and brings your spirit together giving you the power to put together your ashes, taking any shape you want, and assisting the skeleton army, entering the lungs and ears of humans and then exploding from inside.

I think the skeletons would need our support. After all bones can easily be broken.

Anonymous said...

I want to be mummified and so that when Brendan Fraser comes on an archeological expedition in search of a spell that will stop the skeleton army and filthy hippy dust from taking over the world,and then I-the Mummy-will awaken and I'll scare the bejeezus outta the lot of yaz.yeah.

why do we have to die anyway?Dying sucks.Dying is for losers.Now I'm in a shitty mood.Great.