Monday, October 20, 2008

Art for the Blind

Currently at the Gallery of NSW there is an exhibition of Monet and the Impressionists, entry is $18, and you know what.. I don't know if I want to be spending that much money to stare at a bunch of blurry paintings, what I want is FREE tickets to stare at blurry paintings.

So - I propose that I will go to the exhibition, then I will put together my first installation art project titled: Art for the Blind... cos let's face it, blind people really have no reason to go to art galleries, they could be walking around an empty room and they wouldn't be able to tell the difference - hence why we need to start implementing art that appeals to the other senses.

Mona Lisa for the Blind:

Smells like: a wooden chair, musty clothing, over powering perfume
Sounds like: "oh mona, now you sit very still, that's right, very still and stare straight ahead, what are you smiling about you naughty woman.."
Background Ambience: some classical baroque shit, however if we are aiming to bring art to the contemporary audience - I propose "mona" - by Craig McLachlan & Check 1-2

The Last Supper for the Blind:

Smells like: smelly cheese and spilled wine, jesus.
Sounds like: "hey jesus, what gives with this last meal? why did you invite that jerk Judas? how are we supposed to have a conversation if we're all sitting along one edge of this really long table? who invited the chick?"
Background Ambience: eating noises, chair noises, progressive rowdy apostle noises, calming jesus noises.

Monet for the Blind:

Smells like: a bunch of random smells; pineapple, glue, photocopies, freshly cut grass
Sounds like: Techno with interspersed snippets of poetry and violins
Background Ambience: a man humming, and people banging their heads against the wall

Oh Yeah! if only I had a time machine, I'd go back and do something like this for my year 12 art, and get into artexpress.


Amanda said...

How about the self-conscious type of modern art (e.g. one red circle and a blue square on a black background)? :P

Anonymous said...

i have just read your blog after not doing so for a long,long while,and I think this is your most genius,hilarious piee of writing yet.I want more!
Could you please 'dissect'a Dali painting for me?And how about a Rothko?And a Frida Kahlo?
I am eagerly anticipating your reply...XXXXX Love Katherine

kiki said...

your description of the last supper was most entertaining

Darryn said...

I have no reservations about saying that this blog post is indeed genius.

Bedazzler said...

I would think that Monet's waterlillies would smell like a tacky cheap placemat setting. Exactly why I wouldn't pay to see (or smell)it.