Monday, September 29, 2008

Lars'll Getcha

Not a lot of things scare me these days... I have come to peace with the ghosts living under the bed (although I still won't sleep with one leg hanging off, just in case they get hungry), Spiders are taken care of by the boy, waking up with ugly face in the morning can be quickly cured by turning off the lights in the bathroom.. but one thing does scare the shit out of me on a daily basis.

Lars Ulrich.

When I was 18/19 ish I was totally into Napster. I downloaded hundreds of songs, and to this day I do have a limewire account and when I need that one shitty song that you just cant find anywhere, I download it. I still buy albums and I do feel bad for bands who lose lots of money to pirates (arrhhh matey) but who can be fucked trying to find: Melissa Tkautz these days??

Shut up! 'Sexy is the Word' is a great song.

However, every now and then I read a story like this and I shit my pants a little.

I half expect to get a phone call from Lars saying something along the lines of this:


RING RING
"Hello?"
Lars (Breathing Deeply) "hey fucker. look outside. you see its a nice day isn't it. you see that tree? that eucalyptus tree right outside your building? yeah. Do you see me hiding behind it? with a knife gritted in between my teeth about to come upstairs and stab you? do you see me?.. HAA just kidding... i'm not behind your tree. But I am going to fucking stab you.. stop downloading my music"

It's not beyond the realms of possibility, he is one angry little dwarf, and they put out an album what? once every 5 years.. he has plenty of time to travel the globe stabbing people who used to download songs through Napster.

So that's why every night before I go to bed I place some milk/cookies/saucepans and spoons out the front of my door, so in the off-chance that tonight's the night he's come to reap his revenge, he gets all loaded up on sugar and spends hours banging away in the hallway that he forgets what he came to do in the first place.

So far.. So good

1 comment:

Chole said...

OMG I'm so with you on this! I use Limewire also, and everytime I hear a good Metallica song I say to myself "Hm, that's a good one, I should write that on my 'to download" list" and then I want to smack myself in the head and hope he didn't hear my thought.