Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Smells

I've had it up to here with stinky incense. I'm not against it per se, and I have been known to light up a Nag Champa to get the mystery fish smell out of the kitchen, However I am not one of those people who can sit around in a haze of incense smoke for hours.

Frankincense is overrated.

You know what I would burn every hour of the day if they made it:

Chips and Vinegar Incense.

Chips & Vinegar is the best smell ever. It makes me salivate and hark back to happy times spent with family at the beach (NB: I personally don't have any of these memories, but I watch a lot of films to know that this is what functional families do with each other)

And while they're at it I would also like to see the following incense fragrances in the shops;

Pan Fried Garlic & Onion
Spicy Meatballs
Some curry dish that the neighbours cook
Clean Baby Smell
Sweaty Good Looking Man Smell

pfffffft Sandalwood?? that doesn't get my juices flowin'

Boo You '3 wise men' Boo You. The world of Incense would have been vastly different had Jesus been born in 'Rue de Fettucini' in Italy.

7 comments:

Helen said...

We have baby-powder scented fabric softener, which kind of smells like baby, but without the nasty nappy-scent side effect after a few hours. I love it! And we have a clean linen (i.e. fabric softener) scented room spray which means that my clothes smell like baby and my house smells like clothes...

now all we need is that rain ona hot day smell...

Anonymous said...

Or cut grass, now that is a good smell.

( . )( . ) said...

Yes, pheromone incense, top on my list!

Bedazzler said...

the scent of desperation would be a good one, you could just spray it on people when they harass you, like mace.

Anonymous said...

my dead cats breath incense...
hot fresh bread incense...
the smell of my old pencil case incense...

Anonymous said...

salty vag incense

Bedazzler said...

Lindsay Lohan's Firecrotch.