Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Poop Daily

In News this week:

Lisa Marie Presley is pregnant with twins:

Is she also a vampire transvestite? that is the fugliest photo of her I have ever seen, not that she ever rated highly on the 'lesbian fuckability' scale.. I would never hit that. Well not unless she had me cornered for my delicious Braaaaaaaaains. Note to Lisa Marie's Publicist: do not send out photos where your client has a massive zit on their head, and red rimmed eyes like she spent all night yakkin it up in a caravan park toilet...although it does give her fatso pregnancy story more cred. You can almost smell the morning sickness.

David Jones had their inaugural Fashion Parade on Wednesday Night, with many B-List hacks in attendance. Some blind fashion designer decided it would be best to model their range on this:

And what spaceship did you fly here on?? This is Daniel Johns' latest squeeze.... and Alien. Seriously, I would continue saying bad things about her but I reckon she could vaporise me with a mere thought from her giant alien sized brain. Scary.

And finally the most exciting news yet: Scientists have found Poo on Mars. Really? That is just great. I don't know what makes me happier? the fact that we found Poo, or the fact that Poo is a front page story. I would love to be the person who did that Poo. I can only hope that the discovery of this Space-Poo will open doors and forever change the way we view Poop, so that when you accidentally get some on your jeans at Hoyts at Fox Studios, rather than being forced to leave the movie early and make up a reason about running into an 'old friend from school' you can proudly sashay around proclaiming your Poop for future alien generations to discover.

All Hail Poop:


surfercam said...

I'm not sure which photo scares me the most....

Bedazzler said...

did you make some Fudge with what was left in the cupboard?