Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Two Finger Salute

Tonight I realllllllllllly couldnt be fucked. I went food shopping and brought the following;

a bag of grapes
a box of cheese Shapes
a bag of fruit jellies
a cherry ripe
2 strawberry frogs
and the ingredients for an actual dinner: chicken breasts/potatos/peas with a mushroom sauce

however - when I got home I had the following for dinner;

a box of cheese Shapes
fruit jellies
strawberry frog
glass of wine.

I felt pretty disgusting afterwards.

So I went to the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat. I thought there would be more of a payoff, half a box of crackers at least. Not so.... If I had persisted for another 30 mins I reckon I could have got the whole box up. But who has the time? who wants to be bent over in the the 'throw up' position for more than a couple of minutes at a time?

Red wine and half digested crackers really are the most amazing purple colour.

I touched my larynx.

How many other people can say they did that today?

6 comments:

Jobe said...

You also touched my heart with this vivid picture of gluttony.

I think I might go and masturbate over a creme brulee now.

Rach said...

*snicker*

im gonna make good use of those grapes.. if you know what I mean (oh you know what I mean)

unique_stephen said...

I'm a card carrying pervert, but must admit that I'm having trouble imagining how you could the grapes.

Jobe said...

Dude, she's totally going to have sex with the grapes!

Anonymous said...

larnyx?isn't that situated between the sphincter and the urethra?

Rach said...

dunno - but is 'Larynx' starting to look like a good name to call my firstborn??