Thursday, June 12, 2008

Ways to look like a Douch... Module 1

well, there are many varying ways one can look like a douche..

However, today's lesson revolves around how one can effectively look like a massive douche in the workplace.

Step 1: Looking Moronic Every Day.

At my dungeonesque place of work.. we have an 'art deco' bathroom.. now many people living in 'art deco' type places know that 'art deco' loosely translated means: needs a fucking renovation. But we generally just live with our shitty bathrooms because the ceilings are high, and the lead-lights pretty, and the picture railings are handy.

But seriously.. the 'art deco' bathroom has to go.

And why is that?

Because I get fucking trapped in there at least once a day because the ricketty old sliding door gets stuck and I need to be rescued.

You have no idea the humiliation involved in being trapped in the bathroom on a daily basis. For one.. everyone thinks you have a brain the size of a pea. Not to mention the fact that you were doing a wee becomes common office knowledge when you need to scream for help to the closest person to come rescue you.

I think we should just get rid of the door and have an 'open office peeing' reform. That way I wont need to MacGyver my out with my lipgloss and a coathanger every time nature calls.

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