Monday, June 16, 2008

"undesirable" haunts

with my impending eviction notice just waiting to be banged to my front door, i've been pondering entering "the buyers market"... much like "the fruit market" I really don't know what i'm there for and if I see a bag of oranges on sale i'll probably buy them, not cos I need em, but because they were cheap.

but... its expensive (duh).... I really need a second job.. what could I do? I could give out handjobs for $45.. but I don't like doing that, for one - my arm gets tired.. so how about this.. I'll knock $5 off if you do all the work and I'll make a fist...any takers??

To be honest, i'd actually be happy with somewhere "cheap & undesirable".... like a place infested with rats, ... whats not to love about rats?? haven't you seen 'Flushed Away'.. all those cute rats and their boats.. if anything you'd be worried if the house was infested with those french frogs, cos those guys were hardcore.

There should be some sort of listing on Domain for 'undesirable' places.

Murder House
House built on ancient Indian burial ground



What's the worst that could happen?

So you're up all night sleeping on the ceiling fighting off poltergeist attacks? Big Deal.
And your electricity bill would probably be pretty high, from all the lights flickering on and off all the time.. And you couldn't own a tv (hey I might be cheap, but i'm not stupid)

It'd be worth it though.. to save a few hundred thousand

"Yawn...."
"hey you look like shit!"
"Yeah I was awake all night whilst my partner was spewing all over the place, he's possessed, and my tree ate my kid, dunno where he is.. I really need to go to the church for more holy water, can you hold my calls for me.."

whats wrong with that?

So if you know of any "motivated seller" murder houses.. you let me know!

5 comments:

( . )( . ) said...

www.undesirablehouses.com

Why dont you just find an abandoned house and become a squatter? After 6 months its yours and you dont have to pay a cent. Theres about a 10 abandoned houses in my area!

blokeman said...

dooo eeeeeet!

I finally did it rach, granted I ended up moving to Gods waiting room, Hervey Bay, QLD. But to be honest life is much better up here if you can find work.

Sydney sucks and is too expensive! Get out....GET OUT!

Dan

blokeman said...

6 months....come now that couldn't be further form the truth.

If the owner wants you out of a squat they simply ask you to leave the police kick you out.

However there is a statute of limitation of 12 years. If they don't start any legal action to have you moved out of the property in 12 years there is nothing they can do, you legally own it.

So go squat in an abandoned place for 12 years and you then get to own it.

Rach said...

at least now you can record your own cd of WHINING WHALES.

What are you gonna do up there? sell glittered covered computers to old ladies?

blokeman said...

ha ha, that idea is still on my mind :)

I get to work from home so have sydney wage up here.
It's a pretty damn good lifestyle i tell you. Have a nice house with a pool and everyone is so laid back and friendly.

Dan