Sunday, June 01, 2008

The Nanny Diaries.... Incident

This week, was Rag-Week. aka: Bitch week.

You can't help it. You just act like a bitch..moreso than usual. And last night's The Nanny Diaries Incident really needs to go into the history books as a benchmark period-bitch attack.

It was a saturday night, I really had nothing better to do, I had been invited to a party, but the party was in woolloomooloo.. Woolloomooloo = far away from the couch

So I stayed in and ordered a movie on Foxtel, and settled into a nice snuggly night on the couch for two of us. Not so. Mark haaaaated the movie, and went into the bedroom to sleep instead.

Well. this realllllly pissed me off. Seething. How dare he sleep rather than watch a movie with me?!! especially when I could have been at some stupid party in the city, not that I really wanted to go, but that's not the point.

So I sat on the couch for about 4 hours plotting my revenge.

I thought I would just sleep out there as a show of defiance.. 'yeah well if you'r gonna sleep in there, i'm gonna sleep in here!!.. alll night! yeah see how you like that'..

But eventally I decided to just suck it up and go into the bedroom. I walked around to his side of the bed and blew out the candle.. maybe a little too hard...

Mark suddenly starts screaming because hot wax from the candle that he has been burning all night has formed a giant puddle in the holder and when I blew (a galeforce) breathe to blow the flame out, I accidentally sent a tidal wave of burning hot wax all over mark's face.

Ooops.

So he's screaming, and I'm like "can you fucking stop screaming! I'm trying to sleep!" All the while he keeps coming in and turning lights on and asking me to help him pick out a chunk of wax that has hardened on his eyeball.. but in my mood i'm all "yeah whatever, its your own fault for burning a candle for 6 hours and not watching The Nanny Diaries with me"

Relationships are awesome.

So then marks whinging about all the wax stuck on his arms, and hair, and calling me a bitch for not helping him get it out, and my response is "well I would have helped you, if you werent acting like a jerk".. yeahhhh..

I'm a maniac, maniac thats for sure.. and i'm being a bitch, like i've never been before.

I take no responsibility for anything that transpired. It was my uterus' fault, it had nothing to do with me.

3 comments:

Skinny Girl said...

I hate rag week.

I'm a psycho. A nut job. A fucking loony tune.

A fruit loop.

What else....... ummmm I go spazzo for no reason.

Huzzies put up with so much hey?
I'd leave my sorry ass each month if I was him.

KittyMeow said...

Its so awful isn't it!? I'm usually a very laid back, easy going chick but come "that time of the month", I'm a narky bitch and will bite my boyfriends head off at the drop of a hat - and promptly start crying afterwards.

Jacob said...

Ow, hot wax.

PS I saw the nany diaries and I didn't actually mind it all that much. I even cried in one bit. Yeah, I suck.