Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I judge you... at the checkout counter

There are very few places where all your 'dirty secrets' are aired to the world in full view. The most suspect being at the check-out counter.

That's right. I'm looking at your stuff and judging you.

You. You with the 'McCains Healthy Choice Lasagne, the 99c Cheese Rings and the quick sale 6-pack donuts'.. you disgust me. Do you really think you should be packing that into your pie-hole when you get home tonight? you can barely fit through the checkout aisle, but no no.. you're getting a 'healthy choice lasagne..' that makes up for the 6 donuts that you will inhale quicker than air when you're flat on your back on the couch picking crumbs out of your neckrolls.

You're all a bunch of weirdos. I can tell a lot about you by what you put on the Conveyor Belt of Truth.

3 Pack Baked Beans: Smell ya later.
Rubber Gloves, No Frills Bleach, 20 cans of catfood: Your house smells like catpiss.

Oh yes, the conveyor belt of truth reveals all.

Wouldn't everyone down at the office like to know you spend your nights in fuzzy purple striped socks, eating anchovies from a can??

Hey, I don't save my judgement just for the supermarket, even though there is no better way to get a really good picture of the people around you by going through the items in their trolley. I also judge you at department stores. Yeah, you with the 800 pairs of socks. Whats up with that? Are you stockpiling them for nuclear fallout? What exactly are you up to..

In a perfect world we'd all shop in the dark, and they'd have razor wire dividers between customers. I don't want anyone knowing my weakness' for Anzac Biscuits and Trident Laksa Soup Packets.

3 comments:

Skinny Girl said...

Baaaahahahaha, I sooooo judge at the check out counter too.

I so couldn't be one of the people who works in a supermarket. I'd be commenting to everyone regarding their purchases and bad choices.

LOL, glad to hear I'm not the only one. Huzzie refuses to come shopping with me now.
I do have a rather loud voice.

Sez said...

Trident Laksa Soup Packets - If you like those, give the Tom Yum version a go. Delish!

Raef said...

Do you always put the divider between your shopping and the person's in front of you?

I don't bother.

Then I just wait and see if the person has a mild fit because they are OCD and couldn't handle my selections touching theirs. It makes the wait in the queue fly by.