Friday, May 16, 2008

I Heart Gordon Ramsey

Yeah i realise i'm a little slow on the uptake, but I 'heart' Gordon Ramsey. He is so super hot, and dirty, and loud and rude. What I wouldn't give to be in his kitchen making a really terrible souffle, and have him tell me i'm a fucking piece of shit, terrible fucking cook, should have my fucking brains scooped out and souffle'd.. Yeah.. then he could stab me with his knives.

Anyway, before I disgust you with my Gordon Ramsey stabbing fantasy, I wanted to share why it is that I heart Gordon so much.

I never order the 'Specials' when I go to a restaurant, never. I think its just there for hiding scuff marks on the wall, or give down and out artists something to do in their spare time when they graffiti up their weekly specials board.

Then I watched Gordon and learnt that the best and freshest dish at any restaurant is always the Special. So last week I threw caution to the wind and ordered the Heavenly Beef from my local thai restaurant, and my god! I have never had a tongue-orgasm before, but he was right.

Ever since then, I have been fantasising about this chilli beef dish. I have to make myself stop salivating on the bus every night. It's not normal to feel this way about chilli beef. They must be putting heroin or something in it. Also the fact that there was this weird grass-herb in it that was kinda choking me at the time. It's a true testament to the dish, that I will go back and risk choking to death on their shitty grass-herbs for their truly heavenly beef.

So tonight, Is Chilli Beef night, hopefully I make it to the restaurant and don't pass out from the hole in my stomach from all the churning stomach acid thinking about sweet sweet heavenly beef.

And Gordon Ramsey covered in Heavenly Beef.



Skinny Girl said...

He is a fucking spunk. And I am proud to be from the same land as he.

I'd love him to beat me around the kitchen. Cant think of something I'd rather do.


Did you know he was a footballer (soccer) but got an injury so became our favourite chef?

KittyMeow said...

Ohmigod best fantasy ever. Officially. STOLEN!! Hahahahah.

Why is it us young girls swoon so over a wrinkly old man old enough to be our father. But DAMN!! There's something about him huh!